Avengers Texts

Steve to Tony

<Lover>

so bruce says to remind you about the thing and you'll know what it is

<Tony Boney>

the thing?

<Toney Boney>

what day is it?

<Toney Boney>

the thing isn't until friday

<Lover>

it is friday

<Lover>

also would you quit changing your name in my phone seriously you are such a child

<Toney Boney>

i cannot stop changing my name in your phone, i am a child, toney boney was a hilarious stroke of genius, and holy shit, it cant be friday, i am LATE

<Lover>

why whats the thing

<Toney Boney>

screening thing bc me and bruce are super geniuses and were late which is bad we gotta go,,,, shit this is why i dont do volunteer work i always forget. I need to leave

<Toney Boney>

but i can't because where the fuck is nat and how am i supposed to deal with matt and foggy and peter and wade without her to keep them from EATING ME

<Lover>

nobody is going to eat you

<Toney Boney>

well, lets not rule out everyone, lover

<Toney Boney>

get it

<Toney Boney>

because. eat me.

<Lover>

are you serious right now i can't believe this

<Lover>

you are so much like wade i cant understand why you hate him so much

<Toney Boney>

its because im self loathing and also im nothing like wade wilson he is a completely different type of messed up than i am. anyways. how am i going to get through today

<Lover>

well don't look now but two cars just pulled up

<Lover>

for your sake i hope one of them has nat in it

<Toney Boney>

for matt's sake too. if she isn't here to protect him i fear for his life at the hands of the terrifying foggy nelson

<Lover>

if bruce manages to find thor that should distract him for a while

<Toney Boney>

bruce lost thor AGAIN jesus christ

<Lover>

and loki apparently. they may be lizard hunting

<Toney Boney>

WE HAVE ENOUGH ANIMALS MY HOUSE IS NOT A JUNGLE NOR A JUNGLE GYM YOU SUPERHEROES ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL I CANT BELIEVE THIS.

<Lover>

okay well peter and wade were one of the cars because i can hear them arguing and what does foggy drive

<Toney Boney>

i don't know

<Lover>

well, do you own a green jaguar

<Toney Boney>

yes..

<Toney Boney>

WHY WHOS DRIVING MY CAR

<Toney Boney>

WHY WOULD I EVEN ASK THAT ITS NAT ISNT IT OF COURSE IT IS GOD I HATE HER SHE ALWAYS STEALS MY CARS AND BREAKS THEM AND THEN ITS "OH TONY IM SORRY BUT YOUR CAMARO GOT STUCK IN THE SIDE OF A WASTE FACILITY IN BANGKOK" AND HOW DID SHE EVEN GET IT TO BANGKOK AND WHY DOES SHE HATE ME

<Lover>

lmao yeah it's her. she just tried to hit wade and peter. why are they all driving around out there

<Toney Boney>

bc i have to unlock the main gate for them to pull up and i dont want to

<Toney Boney>

you just told FRIDAY to unlock it didnt you

<Lover>

yes

<Lover>

but hey at least foggy isnt here yet

<Toney Boney>

no but clint may have a ruptured spleen so

<Lover>

how

<Lover>

what are you doing

<Lover>

see now i wanna come down there but im scared to bc i dont want to be involved in the chaos

<Toney Boney>

pls come help me i am scared

<Lover>

fine but if these cats get out and pee on stuff it isnt my fault

<Toney Boney>

what

<Toney Boney>

nevermind just hurry bc wade and peter are here and theyre fighting