Avengers Texts

Fury To Tony

<Chocolate Pirate>

tony u wanna explain y i got a call from the UN about a drill and a high powered toaster oven u bought from kazakstan or where ever?

<Assache>

i dont want to but i feel like ur not giving me that option
drill is bc Bruce thinks theres some science stuff under the house
i would explain it 2 u but u wouldnt get it
toaster is bc Bruce took mine and spring loaded it and loaded it with chemicals and modifications
it can burn off human flesh now but makes shit toast

<Chocolate Pirate>

u shoulda had pepper order them
u kno ur not allowed

<Assache>

i cant cos i pissed her off the other day and i dont want her to splode

<Chocolate Pirate>

what did u do

<Assache>

shes allergic to strawberries and apparently that means i cant have them in the fridge
where else am i supposed to keep them i like strawberries

<Chocolate Pirate>

shes touchy about the strawberry thing

<Assache>

i know
im developing a cure

<Chocolate Pirate>

for her mood swings

<Assache>

im a scientist not a wizard
for the strawberry thing
if shes not allergic anymore i can eat them

<Chocolate Pirate>

u realize they want u in court for the drill toaster thing

<Assache>

i bet they do
u realize im not gonna show up right

<Chocolate Pirate>

i figured
u r a giant pain in my ass stark

<Assache>

its my main accomplishment in life

<Chocolate Pirate>

three days u all lived together and u already managed to fuck something up

<Assache>

it was bruce's fault