Avengers Texts

The One Where Thor Comes Back

"So is Loki dead?" Clint sighed, laying upside down off the couch. He had gotten bored with pestering Sam, Wade was telling hypothetical horror stories about Peter that were terrifying Tony and Steve, and everyone else was being boring. Everyone else being Bucky and Bruce, and Loki, who was passed out.

"He's not dead. And sit right side up, you're gonna make yourself sick," Bruce said, nudging Clint with his foot.

"You already made me sick, like six times in a row. If I throw up anymore, I will literally be dead," Clint grunted as he sat up. "Someone do something. I'm bored and Wade is about to give Tony a heart attack."

"Please. Someone distract them," Steve nodded. He pulled Tony onto his lap in a chair.

"What if he gets burned alive?" Tony whined.

"Where would that even hap-?! Wade, stop scaring him!"

"Scaring him?! He's my boyfriend! If he's dead I have nothing! And we were fighting so if he dies then- Then-" Wade started blubbering. Bucky groaned and Sam stood up from next to him on the couch to help Wade into a seat.

"He's fine. He probably just lost his phone. Or Natasha has it. Maybe it's dead," Sam soothed. Wade wailed. "No, no, I meant the phone is dead, not him! Oh- Someone else do this." He walked back to his seat and plopped down next to Bucky.

"Hey. Wilson. Wanna play truth or dare?" Clint asked suddenly, sitting up excitedly. Steve gave him an incredulous look.

"W-What?" Wade wiped at his mask, which was dry because he was crying inside of it, so the motion was pointless.

"We could play truth or dare," Clint continued with an affected tone. He was subtly tilting his head towards Bucky and Sam. "I know you love truth or dare."

"Wh- Oh! Oh, I do love truth or dare! Let's play that!" Wade sat up, nodding at Clint, who busted into a grin.

"What are they plotting?" Tony muttered to Steve.

Steve took one look at Bucky and knew exactly what they were plotting.

"I'm in," Steve winked at Clint and smiled slyly at Bucky. Bucky scrunched up his face in confusion. "Come on, Buck. You love this game."

"I'll play," Sam shrugged. Bucky nodded, but he still looked suspicious.

"Bruce and Tony are playing too, because they're here and majority rules," Clint decreed. Bruce groaned, but put his phone away obediently.

"Who goes first?" Bucky asked, still uncomfortable with the looks he was getting from Steve.

"I do, because the love of my life is being eaten alive by tarantulas as we speak," Wade said, and then started sniffling. Clint coughed pointedly and Wade shook his head. "Right. Hmm, okay, who do I pick, what a hard choice, hmm, ah, Sam, truth or dare?"

"Uh... Tr-Dare. Dare."

"Open the snapchats I sent you last week."

"Oh, no."

"Do it or you are forever shamed."

Sam sighed and pulled out his phone as Clint sent Wade angry eye signals.

"What is so scary about his snapchats?" Steve asked. "What even are those?"

"Well, snapchats are picture messages you send people, and you can only see them for like 10 seconds. And usually they're pretty innocent. But Wade uses them to send gross pictures he finds on the internet, or pictures of his dick, or-" Tony explained.

"Did you cover your toilet in peanut butter?" Sam asked, frowning at his phone screen. Wade cackled. "What is wrong with you?!"

"I am a comedy genius! Ha! Wait til you see the next one!"