Avengers Texts

The One Where Wade Runs Off

"He's somewhere between 38 and 50th street. I told him we're on 46," Tony said, glancing up from his phone. "He's near the Chrysler building."

"No shit, the Chrysler building is right in the middle of those streets. Fuck. Where? Where on the street?" Wade was pacing up and down the street as Tony gathered intel from Peter. Natasha was leaning against a lamp post, looking very noir. "Nat, you got anything helpful to add? You just gonna lean there?"

"Wade, I'm cutting you slack tonight because you are clearly distressed, but if you ever talk to me like that again," she walked up to Tony and snatched his phone, "I will cut off your hands."

"Wow, thanks, that's really helpful, meanwhile, Peter is dying! He is DYING!"

"He's not dying! He can't be sending us coded messages if he's dying! Will you calm down?" Tony  groaned. "We wasted a lot of time in Central Park. He's gotta be close."

"I know where he is," Natasha tossed the phone back at Tony, who fumbled to catch it. "It's on 42nd street. He was close." She stuck her arm out to grab a cab. Wade and Tony were stammering behind her as a cab pulled up and they all climbed in.

"So- Where-" Wade started.

"Can you take us to the Denny's on 42nd?" Natasha cooed uncharacteristically nicely at the cabbie. "Thank you."

"He's at Denny's? Really?" Tony asked in disbelief.

"No, but we're going to walk there from Denny's, because if we pull up in a fucking cab, that's suspicious. Get it?"

"I get it!" Wade cheered. "Is Peter go-"

"Yes, Peter is gonna be okay. Stop asking that every ten minutes. Or I'm gonna shoot you in the leg."

The cabbie stifled a laugh at that. Natasha smirked. The rest of the cab ride was silent, save for Wade's anxious whimpering every so often.

"Thank you," Natasha smiled sweetly when she got out, handing the cab driver a hundred dollar bill. "Keep the change."

Tony rolled his eyes at her.

"That's my money," he reminded her when she joined him and Wade on the sidewalk.

"Yes, well, it's Wade's boyfriend, so shut up," she elbowed him.

"Yes! Wade's boyfriend! Where is he?" Wade demanded.

"Jesus, calm down," Nat scoffed. Tony nodded in agreement. "He's over there." She pointed at an empty-looking building a bit down the street.

"Frigid Realty," Tony read off the wooden sign in front of the building. "It's office spaces."

"Yeah. And the logo is a penguin. And he kept texting us about penguins. Realtor and office manager were jobs he suggested for penguins. And it's near the Chrysler building."

"You are so smart."

"Yes, I know. Now, I assume he's not in the actual building, he's probably underneath it somewhere. Most office spaces have basements, or..." she turned to Tony. "Where did Wade go?"

"He ran in there right after you pointed out the building," Tony sighed. "He's gonna die."

"I mean-" Natasha exclaimed in frustration. "Probably! Jesus!"