Avengers Texts

Melinda To Tony

"Tony Stark what th-"

"Hey! Where are you?"

"I'm standing in the wreckage of my jet, waiting for Phil to come get me. Where are you?"

"Uh-"

"Nevermind, I know where you are. Where's Marie?"

"Uh..."

"Tony,"

"She's asleep,"

"Uh huh. What happened?"

"She got super drunk on blueberry vodka, which is hross by the way, who even wants blueberry anything let alone in your alcohol, and its a cheap brand which is even worse-"

"Tony!"

"-Right, okay, sorry, she got drunk on that nasty business and she was on that medcation I gave her which is COMPLETELY SAFE, just so you know, and she was eating your candy and chinese food and then she came down here and was jabbering on and on about something and then she passed out,"

"Okay. Do me a favour, go in her phone and delete the texts I just sent her?"

"What's her password?"

"Phil is a loser, all lowercase, all one word,"

"Got it. You broke your arm?"

"Yep. But she doesn't need to know that,"

"They ruined another fucking t-180?! Come ON! I just got done upgrading them!"

"I know. I liked this one, too,"

"Fucking terrorists,"

"Actually, we're in Scotland right now,"

"Really?"

"Yeah, factory explosion. That turned out to be the explosion of a secret chemical weapons manufacturer underneath a factory, which turned out to be a trap,"

"Any cool stuff left over from the secret chemical weapon setup?"

"Phil has all that on the other jet. The loader one. That didn't get fucking ruined,"

"Poor you,"

"I know, my life is so hard,"

"Hey, did I tell you that-"

"We all know you and Steve are dating, alright? Chill,"

"You chill,"

"You ch- You know what, i'm not doing this,"

"I think Marie might have a concussion?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right. Hey, did Phil talk to you?"

"He's been at his field office all this week, so, no. Why?"

"He'll tell you in the morning then,"

"Tell me what?"

"How much more room does the tower have?"

"There are literally six stories that I havent even bothered furnishing because nobody uses them. I'm that rich,"

"Good,"

"Why do I need extra space? Is he moving his field office in my tower? Because I am NOT about to get shot at every day, no, no headquarters in my tower,"

"It's not that,"

"Good,"

"Helicopter's here. I'll see you in a few hours,"

"Alright,"