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After a turbulent day, finally silence fell over the full Kim house. Seonghwa had just out the kids to sleep, Hongjoong was finishing his call with Hyerin.

Exhausted, Hongjoong fell onto the couch and put his phone on the coffee table after hanging up. He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Is she okay?" Seonghwa asked as he joined his husband in the living room. The lights where dimmed, created a rather cozy atmosphere in the living room. A fluffy blanket laid over the couch, pillows everywhere. The family had watched a film together earlier and the boys had built a pillow fort to watch it in.

"Yeah... She's fine she said" Hongjoong replied and leaned his head over the back of the couch. "She said that a friend of her will be staying with her for a couple of days. That's what she needs right now, she said"

Seonghwa pressed his lips together and dropped the pillows again. He could clean up later, he didn't have the energy to do anything anyway. So, he sighed and snuggled onto Hongjoong's lap, hugging him tight.

Seonghwa had seen Hyerin grow up, when he met her the first time she was barely a teen. The girl had always a special place in his heart, he knew she was inwardly so pure like an angel. The more it hurt to think about what had happend to this angel over the years without they had noticed. He could only imagine how Hongjoong was actually feeling, when even he felt so shattered. All he could do was be there and share his pain, hug him tight and love him.

Shaking hands were placed on Seonghwa's back, returning the hug. Seonghwa felt Hongjoong's jaw tighten, his fingers bury themselves into his back. "I thought- I..."

Seonghwa lifted his head and put his hands on Hongjoong's cheeks, holing his head steady. His eyes shimmered, his nose twitching from holing back with so much force. "Hongjoong" he said, caressing his face, trying to keep himself together. Seonghwa feard what Hyerin's attempt could have actually triggered. Though, on the inside he knew that the damage had already been done. "She's fine, ah? Nothing that happened was your fault-"

Hongjoong forced down his need to cry again. Now, that everything was silent, his thoughts got loud, he started to really process what he had gone through not even 24 hours ago. It felt like history was repeating itself, his memories from Hyeja and the last night's events started to mix, the pictures haunting his mind. He had been prepared to see her corpse, he had even imagined it already. How similar she would look to Hyeja. He had failed to protect his sister from this world's demons creeping in the darkest corners of one's own mind. And he had promised her to be there for her, he had promised her to catch her from falling. And he had failed to keep a simple promise. Oh how selfish he had been, distancing himself for his own good. How self-centered it had been, with that he had taken away her last pillar.

Hongjoong gave in under Seonghwa, it was just too much. He clenched his fists on his husband's back and buried his face into the crook of his neck, muffling the sounds leaving his mouth. Watching him break down hurt, it shot daggers into the older chest. But he couldn't stop it. He was sin no place to tell him that it would be fine, because it wouldn't. Another scar had been added and it would always stay there, in his subconscious and wait until something else triggered it. Just like this time it had brought out the memories of his oldest sister.

Seonghwa held him, tight and secured. Nothing could erase what he had seen and felt, and it teared him apart that it would be another burden he couldn't lift from him.

~

Time passed and the family regained their old routine soon. For the most part that is. It was still summer break but Hongjoong had returned to his work and preparations for another comeback. It was small, not planned to be big, to hundred percent self produced and a gift. It had started as an idea of saying goodbye. The idea had come to him when he had gotten his letter from the government, calling his service in November.

Meaning, while Hongjoong rushed in and out of work, Seonghwa and the kids made their best and turned their garden into some kind of adventure park to spent time with. Though, they had been given the option to go spent the rest of the break on the countryside with Seonghwa's parents like every year, but the kids had decided that either all of them or none. It was true, visiting their grandparents without Hongjoong running from the cowshed or being left on the roof after being politely forced to fix it, wasn't the same. For the kids, that was the most entertaining part.

"Jongie~ let me go~" Wooyoung whined as he tried to get out of the little boy's grip. They were playing catch under the bright sun while Seonghwa and Yeosang looked after their growing tujas. Someone had to cut their branches. "Ah! That's not fair when he doesn't let me go- I can't run like that!"

"Tsk, your unluck !" Mingi giggled and ran away to the next corner, far away from Wooyoung. "Wooyoungie's it! You can't give it back to Jongie!" he yelled at the whining younger.

"Jongie not letting go Uuyoungieeee" Jongho laughed and clung onto the other like a koala. "Because Uuyoungie said Jongie too slow!"

"Papa! That's not fair! Tell him to stop!" Wooyoung called out to his father.

Seonghwa turned to the two boys and stemmed his hands on his hips. "Jongho, baby let's play fair please!"

"Yeah! Jongie! Crash him down!" Yeosang cheered and clapped to encourage the youngest.

"Hey, No- no that's not how we play-"

Jongho did as he was told, letting go just for a second to then bump the other onto the ground. Laughing in triumph, he climbed his finished brother and sat on his chest. "Like that?"

"..."

"Papa!"

For a moment Seonghwa thought. Maybe if he ignored it just long enough, the problem would go away by itself.




-
Heeeeeya how you doing?

Ahhh can you see the... The quality of my chaps go down too or is it just me?? I'm really not ok with this one but somehow I gotta bind the next 'arc' to this🙃

I hope yall hold on with me-

So I just watched the last ep of ateez fever road and- I will miss it so much like it aired just at the right time for me. Shit got me crack a smile after having a mental breakdown at 3am😃ahhh it was hilarious and chaotic, I will miss it

Mhm that's all I gotta say actually so...

Please stay healthy and safe

-gulkurusubb

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