If Ever (COMPLETED - EDITING)

Chapter 20 - Ella

Ella.

I don't know what they had talked about for those torture filled ten fucking minutes. I didn't want to ask him, maybe deep down I knew. Because as possessive as Kai was, he was being more so. He held me to his side, when usually he would just hold my hand when we were out. I wanted him to tell me what she's said. But I was so scared.

I was upset I didn't get enough time with Mare before she went into surgery, but I knew she would do this; she would say shit she shouldn't have, why had I brought him to see her. But he was equally silent. She had told him. I couldn't look him in the face. Why was he still here, holding me if he knew?

For once, I couldn't tell what was going on in his head, and it bothered me that I couldn't read him like I usually could.

But she had told me he loved me. She told me he'd said he was in love with me, my mind was in a foreign place and I couldn't think straight. How could he love me? Like me ok, lust for me ok, but I was too broken to be loved. It went too deep. What the hell had Mare said and not for the first time in my life I was upset with her again. She was interfering again. Was he going to ask me about it. How could I tell him?

"Kaaaais in lov-ee wit Ell-ie." she'd whispered into my ear. That couldn't be true. It was all becoming too loud, the colors were too bright, the screaming and playing of children, then there was screaming. Kai was holding me whispering, breathe baby breathe. And when I finally calmed down, I was in his lap on the seat of the car, with the door open, what had just happened? Had I had a panic attack? I stared into nothing. My mind was blank. I was clinging to his shirt, my hands a tight fist.

"Ella?" I knew this voice.

"Kai?

"Hi Baby." Air filled my lungs I could breathe. oh god. I took a deep breath.

"Hi." I looked at his face, the green of his eyes. I knew this face. I turned in his arms, hugging him.

"You're ok, baby. It's ok." I just stayed like that. "I'm sorry, Kai. I'm so sorry." I said.

"No, Ella, there's nothing to be sorry for baby, you're ok, I'm right here. I've got you." He kissed me a hundred times. Finally, after a whole 5 minutes I could move.

What was happening. This was a huge mistake. I should have never brought him to see Mare.

"Babe, can you let Mel know you're staying over?" He asked me, he sounded serious. I nodded. Scared shitless. I took 2 SOS while he walked to the other side of the car. I was losing my mind.

I texted Mel. I told her I'd be staying over at Kai's to which she sent me winking emoji, I sent the same one back, mechanically.

When we reached the bank, I spoke to the teller. Kai held me the whole time, who then called in the manager and we were asked to wait in his office.

"Ella? What's happening, baby?" Kai asked worried.

"I don't know what this is. I'm so confused. Can you please look at it?" I asked.

"Of course, babe." He kissed my head. I nodded.

She had told him, some if not all. I felt it in my bones and I was crushed. He would ask me about it and when he found out, he would be out of there. I knew it. I was used garbage why would he stick around for that, when he could have anyone. Why was he still here if he knew?

The manager entered and we shook hands and he handed me a huge manila envelope. Which I gave to Kai. Not like I would understand anything anyway. The manager was explaining the policy and stuff, I paid no attention, nodded but heard nothing. My mind was blank.