If Ever (COMPLETED - EDITING)

Chapter 62 - Kai

Kai

We were almost home. "My love?". "Hmm?". "I have been thinking about something for a while now."

"Ok?" "It's been playing on my mind and not in a good way and I wanted to talk to you about it. I feel like I owe you a huge apology for it." Her eyes glazed over.

"Okay." Her voice was void of any emotion. Shit. I just had to just say it. Why was this so difficult.

"Baby, are you upset about the shit with Mare? The crap we texted last?" She didn't respond, she didn't nod, nothing. I didn't even know if she was thinking about it. Her eyes turned to flint. Shit. I knew she was holding it in, I needed her to just come out say whatever was on her mind. Shit, how long had she felt like this? I knew it was bad. Fuck.

"Kai, baby, imagine Rob were straight, and we behaved the way you did. And we talked dirty and naughty and about sex to each other. Imagine I texted Brig like you and Mare do. Imagine we were at a restaurant and I went and sat next to them instead of you and put my legs on them instead. Imagine it was someone else kissing my head and holding me and I leaned on them, instead of you." That fucking image burned into my head, I almost kicked the car dash. "Ella. That's enough." I was pissed off just thinking about this. She didn't seem to care.

"How would you feel about that sweetheart? Brig asks me what I want for lunch and it upsets you, but its alright for you to talk to Mare about sex? Shall I start doing that, Kai? I get drunk with Rob and it upsets you. But it's ok for you and Mare to behave however you want?" She was upset, fuck! If she so much as said one flirty thing to anyone else I would lose it. I could only imagine what a fucking fit I would have thrown if she had done any of those things. I was sure I would have trashed the restaurant if her leg had so much as touched someone else's.

"I want to be clear, yeah, I'm upset, but I should have said something much much sooner instead of holding it in. I love Mare and I love you more. I don't always have an issue with you guys flirting or being silly. But sometimes you guys cross the line and it fucking pisses me off. And the worst part Kai, is I fucking hate it when you talk to her like you would me. I can't fucking stand it." She was right, we had really crossed a line and that needed to be fixed. Damn. We had really messed up. 

"It's also that off late you both choose to spend all your time with each other and not me, like I don't fucking exist in that room and yeah, a feel taken for granted by both of you. I feel like it wouldn't matter if I was there or not. So, to answer your question yes it bothers me and yes I'm upset about it. And I mean really upset. And I have been for a while now but I didn't want to upset either of you or stress you after your surgery and that was my fault for not bringing it up with you before this and I'm sorry I waited this long to tell you it fucking bothers the fuck out me, Kai."

I was losing her, was she going to leave? She was really angry and upset. I knew she was, that day at the hospital, I knew and I just let it happen. I had taken her for granted. This was Ella losing her shit. When she got all quiet like this.

"I know she is my sister and I know we're engaged, and I feel like shit, but I don't care. I need you to draw a fucking line and stick to it, Kai, or I will lose whatever is left of my fucking mind ok. Please don't upset me like this again.  Or it will be me that loses my shit, not you. ok?" She was talking to me in the same tone she had spoken to my mother while telling her off. I would have preferred her screaming at me instead. This was awful, no wonder my mother had found a therapist.

We were in the drive way. She was staring straight, I kept tugging her arm, patting my lap. She finally sighed and crawled over the center console to sit in my lap. I opened my door to make space for her legs and wrapped my arms around her.