If Ever (COMPLETED - EDITING)

Chapter 42 - Kai

I had tried to get off bed before she got here. I knew I wasn't allowed; I needed a wheelchair for a week and then I should try and move slowly increasing activity, unless I started puking, nausea had hit me a few times. My head still hurt but I would be tired for a while I was told and meant to rest as much as possible. 

Listen to your body, the doc said. Even if you don't sleep, sit or lay down. Use a cane if you feel unbalanced for another week. All these bloody instructions. It took me a bit longer than I had anticipated. And it was a huge failure. I sat back down at the edge of the bed. Exhausted. And frustrated with everything. I didn't know if I would survive in a bed and a fucking chair for two more weeks. Fuck. My body was frustrating me. Everything was frustrating me.

I looked up and Ella was standing at the door. She smiled a wide, gleeful smile and almost jumped into my arms. Wrapping her legs around my waist and her hands were at my neck and her face buried in the crook of my neck. I fucking hugged her so hard even though I was so tired and my arms shook.

Luckily, for me she wasn't very heavy. She'd lost weight. Maybe she wasn't eating. I'd think about that later. Now I needed this, I missed this. I was holding her bottom with one hand and her waist with the other. Oh fuck, I hadn't held her like this in weeks. I pulled her with me onto my lap, with her hands still around my neck. Fuck! My happy place. If ever I had one.

"Hi Baby" I said, smiling

"Hi" She said softly, oh man.

"Baby, please don't talk to me in that tone."

"Why?" She asked in the same fucking tone, her lips were on mine.

"Ella, don't start. When you know I can't, this is torture."

"I'm sorry." She said while her lips were still on mine. I sighed, she wasn't kissing me, she just pressed her lips to mine and it made me smile. "It's ok, I needed this." I said back.

"We gonna keep talking like this?" Our lips were still pressed together, "yes."

"I missed you, Kai."

"I missed you baby girl, I love you."

"Love you."

"My neck hurts." She said. I finally pulled back, both my hands on her face, I brushed back strands of her hair. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on and she was here, despite everything.

"I think you're still a bit drunk." I smiled. I could smell the beer on her.

"Not on 3 beers." She replied. Oh god, I hadn't even asked, if I knew she was drinking I would have told her not to come. Maybe she needed coffee. But she said no when I asked.

I held her face. "I'm so sorry for tonight, baby. I'm sorry for all the shit that was said to you."

She nodded. Her smile vanished.

"Kai?"

"Yeah babe?"

"I'm sorry for tonight too."

"You don't ever need to apologise for that sweetheart."

"I do, it's because of me, isn't it? She's upset about me, it has nothing to do with anything else, just fucked up me. She thinks I'm terrible for you."

"Ella, please, please tell me you didn't believe the shit she said about us."

"Rob texted you?" I nodded. She didn't look at me.

"Baby, please, there are no other real relationships I've ever had for her to even say I have the habit of leaving people. You know I was a one and done kinda guy. It was only one time and I was 16 and it was a bad time for me and I left. Please baby, I need to hear you say you don't believe it."