If Ever (COMPLETED - EDITING)

Chapter 81 - Kai

"How long has he been like this?", "Four weeks.", "Oh god. Have you told him to take a break?", "He won't leave her."

My mum and Owen were whispering outside. I was on my chair holding Ella's hand and my head and half my body was resting on her bed. I just looked at her face almost all day. "I can hear you, you're not in a different country." I said irritated that people spoke around me, like I wasn't here.

"Kai, darling don't you want to go home and get some sleep, we will watch over her or if you don't want us here, Rob will."

"No. Just go. Just leave us alone. I can't leave her."

Ella's hand was back to being normal that alone had been a relief to me, I loved her hands and now I could hold them and I did all day and night. I couldn't put her rings back on because they kept wheeling her in for scans, she couldn't have any metal on her, they had cut out her piercings as well. The hospital was nice enough to bring me a comfier chair seeing as I hadn't left except to go home and pack my clothes once. I'd been here four weeks waiting for her to wake up, but she still hadn't. 

The cops and the FBI agents she had met with for the investigation had come in the very next day. They seemed pretty upset at seeing her like she had been. Owen was with them. The hospital had given the forensics team permission to come in and they had taken a bunch of pictures of her. I only shook hands with them saying nothing when they introduced themselves.

 Owen and I had left the room because I couldn't watch them do this. They said they needed detailed pictures of all her injuries. I knew they would need to check the bullet wounds as well and I knew I would lose my shit when they touched her. I think Owen knew as well. So we left them to do what they needed. I only kept quiet because I knew this was important. Dr. Mathews said they had taken images of the injuries before and after surgery because it was a shooting and it was protocol.

I think I had already lost my mind. I had never been more vacant, like I had taken 10 of her SOS pills. I refused the meds Dr. Mathews offered me. He had moved hospitals, I was lucky he worked here and knew us. I just refused to leave her side. I couldn't. I just sat here most days doodling on my sketch pad or reading a book to her. I was right, her history textbook would put anyone alive into a coma, she would have laughed at that one. I couldn't understand how she liked this stupid subject. So, I got Luke to bring me the English versions of her manga and read those to her. I worked from here if there was anything that needed my attention, I refused to go into work.

Rob updated me on work and on Paris, I just nodded. I asked him why it mattered right now and what if she never woke up? None of it would matter either way. Rob blamed himself for this, he kept saying if only he was a few minutes quicker. I told him there was no point in blaming himself. Maybe if I hadn't left.. he said to stop blaming myself. It was a thing; we both blamed ourselves. Ella would have said it sounded like the worst country song ever. I almost smiled at the thought.

 It was what it was and that the world was fucked up and bullshit kept happening to us. He told me she wouldn't leave me. It was only a matter of time. He said she loved me too much to just leave like this. I knew that but I was told the hospital didn't know when that would be. I prayed he was right, and that somewhere in her brain she knew I was here and she needed to come back to me.

Her face was better and was back to normal, just a slight puffiness around her eye, the bandages and her stitches were off and so were the stitches on her lips. They had shaved the very minimum for the stitches, but she could easily cover it up. The black in her hair was peaking out, Rosa came in and did her hair. I managed after. Her face looked clearer; the bruising had reduced significantly, she looked like my Ella. I belatedly thought, god, she looked so perfect and like my beautiful wife again.