If Ever (COMPLETED - EDITING)

Chapter 92 - Kai/Ella

Kai

It was the day. We were leaving. Ella was upset the whole day watching them pack up the house and cover all the furniture. She was almost in tears. I didn't blame her; it upset me as well. Our flight was tonight, I'd gotten us a private chartered flight. I didn't want Ella to deal with being at an Airport ever again. Evans would be here to pick us up and take us and drop the car back so Rosa could send it with the travel company. Maybe I should have had this done after we left so it wouldn't upset either of us this much. Rosa would have sorted it out. Shit.

Rob had given up his apartment, and was coming over in a bit, Evans was there to pick him up and his luggage.

It was a surreal thought and still hadn't hit any of us. We were actually leaving. Fuck. Ella kept asking if I was ok and I was. I told her I was. It was just a strange feeling. She tried to apologise ten times and I had to cut her off every single time and just kiss her to shut her up. And because I had no self control when it came to her and I just wanted to kiss her all the time anyway.

Yes, I was mainly doing this for her, but I couldn't be anywhere Ella wasn't happy. But also, for myself. The shit that had happened to us here was too much. I couldn't look at a fucking hospital let alone think about it. I had so much PTSD at the idea of visiting one. I realised I had two bad memories for every good one and that was bullshit. None of us deserved to live like this. And I couldn't have her here. She just wasn't going to get any better. She wouldn't have any peace of mind here. She was right, she'd have to stay here on the farm forever – out in the field if she had to get better.

And it pissed me off because she had never stopped trying. Even with the worst shit imaginable, she tried to get passed it for me, without a single complaint, but it just kept coming. I was so fucking sick of it. So was Rob. How fucking much more could she take before she completely lost her mind and broke down completely. It was a miracle she was still here and smiling and laughing even when she didn't feel like it. And she did it for me. She always had. Everything was always for me. I knew she literally woke up each day for me, she couldn't be bothered about the rest. But unlike her I didn't feel guilty that she just loved me to death but I was just pissed off when she wasn't happy.

Mare hadn't bothered getting in touch with either of us, she hadn't even spoken to Owen and Mel. They were upset about it as well. But Ella said to leave it be, she said Mare had been in hospital coping for over a year. She also needed time. And she might eventually come around. They had texted good byes. Ella hadn't cried and didn't seem too bothered. I was happy about that.

She was much better now even though she got tired easily. The late-night last week had taken too much out of her. We'd slept in most of next day, me mostly because I was hungover as fuck. I'd just cuddled with her all day, waking up for some sex and going back to sleep. She was on board with that plan. 

We ordered take out and ate straight out of the containers today because the kitchen was packed up and had nothing edible and we didn't want to dirty any dishes. We'd given all the food to Rosa.

Ella sat in my lap out back leaning on me most of the day. Our bags were packed and left by the couch. I kept kissing her and telling her I loved her and that it was ok to feel sad even when we were doing the right thing and had made the right decision. She appreciated it.

3 weeks later and she was almost back to being herself. I was too thrilled. She joined me in the gym 4 days a week. Her legs were starting to gain some strength. It would take her more time. And she would have all the time she needed. I would make sure of it.

We had picked an apartment in Paris with a small actual terrace. Ella was happy with it. The office was sorting out the paperwork for it. We would stay in our house for a few days or a week and then head out to Paris for two and half months. Ella was ok with that.