If Ever (COMPLETED - EDITING)

Chapter 47 - Ella/Kai

Ella

I didn't have to wait too long for Owen to arrive. I had already ordered us coffees because I knew how he liked his, the exact same as me.

I stood up when he came in, he gave me tentative smile but I gave him a big one, that made him smile harder.

I hugged him so tight and he fully returned it.

"Elle, it is so good to see you."

"You too, Owen. I've missed your scruffy face." He laughed.

We sat down after hugging for a proper 20 seconds. "I've already ordered" I said." He smiled. "You remembered?"

"Of course. Espresso no sugar, no milk, no cream...?" He laughed. "Yup."

"Do you remember telling me a few years back if I wasn't drinking my coffee black I wasn't drinking it right?"

He laughed. "yeah I do, actually." I nodded smiling. "I took your advise."

"And..?"

"You were right, it's the only way to go." We laughed.

"How you doing Elle, you look better, happier." I gave him a small smile.

"I'm learning to get back into the swing of things. Kai helps." He nodded.

"That's good, I'm happy to hear he's been a good thing for you. I knew he was good guy the first day I met him. He cares a ton about you."

"I know." I smiled; Our coffees arrived, I smiled at the waiter, thanking him.

"Owen, I'm sorry about Mel." I said. "I don't know what to say other than I'm so sorry. This was my fault."

"No, Elle, no. You have nothing to be sorry for. None of this was your fault. And don't you let anyone tell you otherwise. If anything, I should be the one apologising to you. I... I just... how did I not know anything, it fucks with my head you know. All the things you went through and no one said a fucking word to me, no one helped you, Mare and Mel included. You included."

"I know, but truth is Owen I was threatened with Cece every time you were around. So, I kept quiet for her." He was shaking his head, as if remembering all the times they kept asking me if I wanted to play with her when Owen and I would be talking.

"Kiddo, I'm so fucking sorry." I grabbed his hand. "It's ok, I'm ok, they're gone. And I'm still here and I'm happy with that outcome, because now I'm free to live. So is Mare."

"Fuck, if I knew what I knew today and they were still around, cop or no cop I would bury some bodies, Elle." I gripped his hand tighter.

"You and Kai both." I laughed. He grinned, "Yeah, I guess we would."

"How is Mel, do you guys speak?"

"Haven't since she came in to testify, she's tried calling me, but I don't if I can Elle, I don't know how to forgive her silence."

"Give it time, Owen, she did the right thing in the end, even though she knew she'd lost you. She didn't have to, but she did."

"Have you forgiven her?"

"Yes. Her and Mare, I can't hold stuff against people, Owen, it consumes to much of me and I'm barely all there to begin with. I'm just starting my life anew and I'm learning things about myself I didn't know, like having the confidence to say no when I want, or fighting with Kai when I don't agree with him. I'm just starting to believe in myself. I don't have the time or the capacity to place blame or cast shadows at anyone. You know what I mean?

"What about me? Have you forgiven me?" His throat was hoarse.

"You? Owen there was never anything to forgive with you. You are one of the best people I know. You stood by me. You lost your wife for me, and I'm so sorry for that, but I am so fucking grateful to have you in my life. You looked after me when you didn't have too, you make me special spicy wings, Owen, I owe you so much. You are the dad I wish I had."