If Ever (COMPLETED - EDITING)

Chapter - 22 Kai

Content Warning: sexual abuse, adult, mature.

Kai

Ella just looked at me, she had said nothing. She took another sip of her beer, she put it down. What was she thinking? She always just looked at me, saying nothing. But I waited. Then out of no where she hugged the shit outta me. I made an ooof noise because she literally threw herself at me.

It was the best feeling in the fucking world. I held her to me, so tight.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that Kai, and thank you for telling me." She said softly. I buried my face into her neck, hiding behind the curtain of hair. "I don't blame you, Kai. I would have thought the same thing." She said. I let out a huge breath. She got it. She got why I wanted him dead. I couldn't be more relieved. I suddenly left weightless. I hadn't realised how scared I was for her to know. But now she knew and she didn't care.

"You're still here." I said.

"Of course, I am, where did you think I was going?" She asked. I smiled and kissed her long. Finally, she sat back down in my lap. I couldn't believe she was still here. She looked down and played with my sweatpants' draw-strings. I tucked a piece of she silky hair back, but it always fell back out.

"I love and hate how silky your hair is." She smiled a small smile at my vain attempts to move her hair, so I could see her damn face. She still fiddled with the ties of my sweatpants. I said nothing, I waited, though it was killing me. I wanted to pull her face up to mine, I wanted to see her eyes. Her face, those lips and her perfect nose.

"So, I guess it's my turn?" She asked.

"Baby, there is nothing you can say to make me leave. Nothing." I said, she laughed, it sounded unhinged. Something about that laugh made the hair on my neck stand.

"I guess Mare told you most of it." There was little bitterness there and I was kinda upset I was involved.

"I want you to tell me, Baby, I don't give a shit what Mare says, no disrespect." I said.

She emptied her bottle and I opened another one for her. I was trying so hard to keep my temper in check. Oh fuck, this was about to be bad.

"My dad first started doing shit to me when I was 4. When I told my mother, she slapped me for making up such lies. Funnily, she started that life insurance policy when I was 4." I nodded. I'd read it.

"So, I stopped telling her. We lived in a bullshit suburb with a bullshit country club that was a fucking cult now that I think about it. Everyone there was a fucking psycho, they'd have these weird parties all the time, but Mare and I were too young to understand back then."

"Mare was never around so they never bothered with her. It was always me. As I grew older my mother would sometimes be in the room, with whoever else was, while they did what they did to me." My knuckles turned white from making such a hard fist behind her back. 

"I remember being tied to a wooden board, unable to move, it gives me nightmares. I don't remember what happened next. It's just always all bits and pieces of shit. I thought I was going mad, because I could not remember." I was shaking. Oh no. Oh God.

She couldn't look at me. I wasn't sure I could look at her like this either. She took a huge heaving breath and let it out.

"Kai, my parents let people do shit to me it started when I was 13. Then they found Michael's family when I was 17 and I guess in hind sight it was about the money but they made me date him. He cheated on me and I refused to get back with him but they made me. They refused to pay for college for Mare and I, if I didn't get back with him. So I did. I didn't even get why college was important at this point. It didn't matter to me. But I needed Mare away from the house." Oh no.