daddy • Lil Xan

141

Diego's POV

I got back to the house and the first thing I did was collapse against the door after walking in.  i looked around the living room, having flash backs of every memory spent with Madeline in this house. 

I stood up and walked to my bed room. some of Madeline's clothes were still scattered out across the bed from the other night. I grabbed one of the shirts off the bed and held it in my hand. I looked at it and studies every crease.. I held it tightly to my chest as I sat down on the bed. it was dead silent in the house without her around.. 

I looked over at the clock and it read 11:49pm. 

I sat there thinking and wondering what she was doing right now. usually around this time, we'd be cuddled up on the couch watching movies..or laid up in bed talking..or sometimes we'd be out having a late dinner just for the fun of it.

I threw the shirt across the room along with everything else of hers that covered the bed. 

I walked in the bathroom and looked in the mirror. my face was flushed of color except for the redness that surrounded my eyes from crying. I hated every inch of myself. I couldn't stand looking at that boy in the mirror. I gently took the mirror off the wall and sat it In the closet. 

"thats better..." I whispered to myself as I turned off the bathroom light, making my way back in the room. 

knowing she couldn't hear me... I still spoke to her as if she could. " thanks to you..all I am now is sadness...I use to be full of love...laughter and so much more when I was with you...but now my heart aches of emptiness. I tried my best to be as honest and truthful as possible...I showed you more love than I did to anything or anyone else in the world..I was soft...kind and gentle. all I wanted was the best for you. you never gave me time to explain myself...now look at me..  I was so loving towards you...why the hell couldn't you see any of that!" I yelled that last sentence as I kicked my foot against the wall. 

I heard my phone start to ring, but Ignored it thinking it was probably just my mother making sure I didn't do anything stupid after what I said to her before leaving the hospital.

then I started again.. 

my tears weren't just tears..they had emptiness attached to every drop. each sob felt like the pain of when rushing air glided across an open wound. I fell back against the wall as my whole body started to shake. I tried my best to hold back the tears but eventually a wave of emotion and heartbreak overcame me, drowning me in my own tears. breaking me down piece by piece. the tears came down, one by one with no sign of stopping any time soon. 

Madelines POV

I had just gotten my key to the hotel room I planned on staying in for a while. after taking the elevator up to the room, in that moment is when I really realized what was going on. I didn't give him a chance...he'd always gave me time to explain my faults..why was I so selfish to not give him the same advantage? 

I ran to my room, unlocking the door and quickly locking it back once I'm inside. I clasped my hand across my mouth as my eyes squinted, holding back the tears. 

I slowly walked to the bed. sitting down trying to hold myself together. 

I looked down at my hand, and there lied, hugging my finger was my engagement ring. I slowly slid it off as the tears escaped my walls I had built so high. nausea filled my empty stomach as regrets flew around my head. my heart felt as if my blood had frozen while trying to keep a steady heartbeat. I felt the ice cage around my heart at the thought of my own actions. 

"im so sorry Diego..." I whimpered. 

I picked up my phone, with the time reading 11:51pm. 

I unlocked it, going straight to Diego's contact, and dialing his number. 

"hey you've reached my inbox so I guess I'm not able to get to the phone right now.."

I threw my phone across the room making a loud banging noise as it bounced off the wall and onto the dresser. 

my heartache was no longer cold..it starts to burn like a fire was forming inside of me.  but instead, it did not simply cool as if a bucket of ice cold water was thrown on it. it burned...and it burned. leaving me there in pain. torturing me for every regret of not turning around in that hospital. 

how stupid of me to not even give him a chance... 

this chapter was complete shit because someone told me "why not both?" and she knows exactlllyyy who she is and she knows exactly what this means. so I was kinda um out of it while writing this chapter. I wrote it like 2 hours ago but Im just now posting it. and also ive been crying over lil peep. so yeah. I'm sorry Guys please don't hate me...ill be updating tomorrow too, I promise. 

also we hit 1 million 💔