Miss her?

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Sthembiso's POV

"Mamá don't tickle me." says Sino and i chuckle. "First you need to apologize and then I will leave you alone." says Amukelani. "Daddy save me." "I can't save you if you did something wrong." I say. "Please." "Nope apologise first." "Sorry mamá." She stops tickling her and she sighs. I love the bond they share together.

I love seeing this side of hers. She's much more sweeter and gentle not that she isn't gentle but seeing her like this makes me feel a certain type of way which shall not be addressed now and anyways I shouldn't be feeling this kind of way for her she probably doesn't have feelings for me. Motherhood really humbled her and made her become this person that you wouldn't think existed.

She catches me starring at her and i look away and scratch the back of my neck. I think i starred for too long. "It's time to go now don't forget that tomorrow is school." she says. "I was having fun." says Sino. "Yeah angisho we will continue having fun when we get home. It's late now and it's cold I don't want you to catch a cold." "Okay let's go."

I pack up the remaining food and we stand up. She folds the blankets and we walk back to the car. "Thank you for picnic." says Sino and i smile. "You welcome anything for you." I say. "Next thing you know she will be making demands for things we won't be able to give her because you said anything." says Amu and we chuckle. "Sizomchazisela ukuthi ezinye aziyenzeki." (We will explain to her that somethings are impossible.)

"Kungani ngingena endabeni zakho manje." she says and i chuckle. (Why am I involved in your issues.) "I thought you would have my back." I say and she rolls her eyes and chuckles. "I'll always have your back but when it comes to explaining to Sino I'm not so sure." "Sekunjalo manje." (Its like that now.) "Dala iqalile le ndaba angeke ngijike manje." I chuckle. (It started long time ago and it won't change now.)

I unlock the car and i put the picnic basket and blankets in the boot and i close it. She buckles Sino in her carseat while I get inside the car. She gets inside and i bring the ignition to life and drive off. "Manje indaba ka mama nobaba sizothini ngayo?" I ask. (The mommy and daddy issue how will we solve it.) "Nawe ubonile ukuthi ngizamile ukumchazisela isimo sethu manje akavumi mekufanele ngiyenzeni mina." she asks. (You also saw that I tried to explain it to her and she didn't understand what was I supposed to do now.)

"Angithi kukhona into embi oyenzile kodwa sengiyabuza ukuthi sizomchazisela kanjani mowusoyobuyela endaweni yakho mekuphela lempi yethu." I say. (I'm not saying you did anything wrong I'm just asking how are we going to explain things to her when you move back to your place after the war.) "We'll pass that bridge when we get there. We tried explaining to her our family dynamics but she wasn't getting it I mean she's only two so she won't understand everything." she says.

"I wish she didn't have to grow up in a broken home." I say and she sighs. "I know me too you know. If we could let things turn out differently for the both of us then we would but we can't. But we are trying our best by making sure she doesn't feel that void too much." she says. "But she will always feel like it's not enough." "That's the fu..messed up part of this whole thing."

"But our situation is better than most parents." I say and she nods. "It is so I guess she should be appreciative of the fact that we try our best to make sure we communicate kahle for her sake. She won't get this anywhere else." she says and i chuckle. We drive back home in silence. Calling it our home feels weird yet right at the same time. I don't know why it feels right calling it ours when it isn't.

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