The Choice (a Painful Past)

16

 I even earned myself a nickname. "Cougar" was written on my locker in black marker, with a sticker of a tiger below it. "This is a tiger, you fucking dumb asses," I yelled, as I wiped my hand through the dark word on my locker. Thankfully, it smeared right off. They had used dry erase, so thank God for the little things. 

The rest of the week was like this, so getting home was so much more of a relief than it used to be. I looked forward to the evening, because that's when Colby and Will would text me. I enjoyed Colby's more because they made me laugh, but Will's were nice too. 

He would always send me 'reminders' of how beautiful I was, or how sexy I was. It was nice to hear, even if I didn't believe it. 

When Friday rolled around, I had to admit that I was a little excited to go on our date. I didn't dress up, because that wasn't me, and I also knew that he didn't have any money to go anywhere fancy. We were simply going to see a movie and then to a fast food place to get something to eat. Simple, just like me. 

I told my mom bye, grabbed my little bookbag purse, and went to my truck. I checked the little bit of makeup that I had applied, just to make sure that I didn't have raccoon eyes or anything. I loved the thick, dark eyeliner, but I had to keep checking it. 

Will was standing outside waiting for me, when I pulled up. He hopped into the truck, then leaned over and pressed his lips to my cheek. "Hey beautiful," he said, smiling at me. "Hey yourself," I replied, shyly. We fell into an easy conversation, just talking like we always had before. It felt like any other time that we had hung out. 

The movie was fun and cute, a rom com that I had been wanting to see. Will put his arm around my shoulders and lifted the middle arm rest, so that I could snuggle into him. It felt weird, at first, but eventually, it just felt normal. 

Afterwards, we found a secluded area and smoked a blunt that Will had brought with him. I didn't normally like to drive when I was high, so we chilled for a little while, just sitting in the truck with the music playing. I closed my eyes and zoned into the distant sounds of car horns and the train that always came through at night. 

Suddenly, I felt cool lips on mine. Since I was high, I didn't jerk from surprise. Instead, I melted into the feeling of comfort that the kiss gave me. I felt Will's hands start to roam my body, and I didn't stop him. It felt good to have someone want me. We made out for a while, until the rumbling of my stomach broke the mood.

 I started laughing against his lips and pulled back. "I think I'm hungry," I said, a little embarrassed. I didn't even like to mention food when I was around guys, especially ones that I liked, but there was no escaping the munchies. He smiled at me, then leaned in for one more sweet kiss. "Then let's go eat," he said, then sat back and buckled his seatbelt. 

It didn't take long to reach Wendy's. We decided to go inside to eat, so that I wouldn't be bothered with driving and spill my food. Once we ordered and got our food, we took a seat away from everyone else. We laughed about how unrealistic the movie had been and had a good time. He stole one of my fries, so I dotted his nose with ice cream. I couldn't even remember when I had had so much fun, without worrying about what people would think or say. 

My phone buzzed in my pocket, so I took it out to see who was texting me. It was Colby. I read the funny joke he had sent me and giggled at how stupid it was. "You're a dork," I texted back.

 "What's so funny?" Will asked, as he popped another one of my fries into his mouth. "Why do you keep taking my food?!" I exclaimed. "You literally have fries right there!" He grinned with half a fry hanging out of his mouth. "Yours taste better," he replied. I rolled my eyes and smiled. "You're so fucking crazy," I said, with a small laugh. "Crazy about you," he replied. My heart did a little pitter patter thing, but I didn't reply. 

"So, who were you texting?" he asked. "Oh, remember that guy from the party? Colby? He sends me little jokes and stuff. That's all," I replied, before I took another bite of my Frosty ice cream. He raised his eyebrows and stared at me. 

"What?" I asked, with a mouthful of ice cream. "Do I have something on ma fashe?" I grabbed a napkin and started dabbing around my mouth. He shook his head and looked thoughtful. "No, your face is fine. Why do you still talk to him? I didn't think you knew him all that well," he replied. "I don't," I said, after I swallowed the ice cream. "Not really. He's just a kid that lives in Kat's neighborhood." "She's such a bitch," he muttered. 

I pretended not to hear him. He was right, but it felt wrong to allow anyone else to talk about her. She was still my friend. 

"He needed someone to talk to, so I gave him my number. So far, we've just laughed at a bunch of stupid shit," I added. "Hmm," he responded. "I think he likes you." I nodded and shrugged. "Maybe, but so what? He's just a kid with a crush. It doesn't mean anything." "Maybe to you. Not yet anyway, but I promise he's just biding his time. You should be careful. Maybe make it clear to him and not talk to him so much," he said. I noticed that his voice had grown a little hard, but maybe I was just high. "Maybe," I replied softly. 

He stood up and started clearing his side of the small table. "I'm finished. Are you ready to go?" he asked. He smiled, with no malice in his face, so I had probably just imagined it. "Yeah," I replied. "I'll just take my ice cream with me. Let me get a straw." So, we dumped out trash and made our way back outside to my truck. 

The night was dark now, with stars littering the sky. I stopped and turned my face upwards to take it all in. The crescent moon was so bright that the city would probably still be lit without all of the lights. 

"It's so beautiful," I sighed. "Not as beautiful as you," Will replied, as he put his arms around my waist from behind. I snuggled back into him.