The Choice (a Painful Past)

183

That was the last text she sent me, about an hour ago.

"What the fuck is going on?" I murmured to myself. "I don't feel like this shit."

I clicked on Will's name next, even though I knew his texts would probably put me in a not so great mood. First, there was a lot of swearing at me, asking me how I could do this to him.

What the fuck did I do to him?

Huh? I kept reading for an explanation. It was basically the same old stuff.

Supposedly, I was telling the world that he was a horrible father, a drug addict, a bum, and all of the things that he actually was.

Then, I got yelled and cussed at some more, because a potential employer had seen some drama on Facebook and withdrew the employment offer.

"So?" I muttered. "You would've only worked a couple of weeks, anyway."

More texts accusing me of ignoring him and being a pussy.

Then, the final one.

"This is beyond fucked up, Callie! I thought we were friends! How could you get him to say what he's saying on fucking social media?! Where, apparently, the entire world can see our business! There are a million fucking people commenting on my post, when they don't know anything about what is actually going on! He's got the entire world attacking me! You're such a fucking bitch, Cal. I never would've believed that you would do this to me. After everything that we've shared, everything that we've been through. Maybe you don't love me anymore, but I love you. This hurts, that you would let some other guy do this to me. I would never let some other girl talk about you like that. I know that I say some fucked up things to you, sometimes. I'm truly sorry for that, but you know how I am. I can't help it. This shit is over the line though. I deleted the post, but him and your bitch ass friend keep commenting on my other shit. Please tell them to stop. Enough is enough. Maybe we can get together tomorrow and talk some things out. Yeah? Okay, Cal. Never forget that I love you."

I didn't even realize that there were tears in my eyes, until they rolled down the sides of my face. I hastily wiped them away and sat up. I knew what this was. What he was doing.

It was his guilt strategy. The manipulation to try and make me think that he was the victim, and I was the one in the wrong. Even though I knew what he was doing, it still hurt.

Guilt rushed through me, as I took a deep breath. He was who he was. There was no changing that.

I had accepted it until I couldn't anymore. I did still love him, but not like I used to. Now, it was just an old feeling that wanted to resurface at the most inopportune times.

I wasn't angry at Denise and Colby, but I was extremely annoyed. I had specifically asked them both, not to make things worse.

He was always doing this kind of shit. I was used to it. The unnecessary drama, put out there for all of Facebook to see, was not what I wanted.

I didn't want everyone else knowing what was going on. It didn't matter what he said about me. I didn't want to drag it on.

This was part of the reason I left Facebook to begin with.

I sighed heavily and opened Colby's texts. First, there were a few telling me that he had fun last night and that he couldn't wait to see me again. Then, there were a few talking shit about Will and how much of a pussy he was.

Then, it started. The cursing and hate spewing at Will.

Finally, the apology for whatever he had commented or started on Facebook.

"Cal, I know you said you didn't want to egg the bastard on, but I couldn't stay out of it. Not when I saw what he had posted. I hate him. I can't just sit by and let him tell the world lies about you. I didn't mean for it to turn into such a huge thing, but I should've known better. Fans follow every move I make, and Facebook fans are a different breed. They found the post. They have no idea who you are, but they are fighting for you. I'm sorry that you won't be happy with what I did. I'm not sorry for people attacking him. I won't ever be sorry for fighting for you. Text me or give me a call when you can, please."

"Fucking hell." I groaned.

Did I even want to see what was happening on Facebook?

No, not really, but I was going to look anyway. I grabbed my laptop and settled back on my bed, against my headboard. When Facebook was pulled up, I typed Will's name in the search bar, until his profile popped up.

I hesitated, letting the pointer hover over his name, then sighed and clicked it. I needed to know what was going on.

The first thing that hit me were all the pictures of him and Kelly. I didn't want to be with him, but damned if it didn't bring back residual feelings and a little bit of pain.

I scrolled until I found the post that everyone was talking about. There were over 200 comments.

"Are you fucking serious?" I whispered.

I clicked the comments, over and over again, until I could see them all. I started from the beginning. Denise had come back at him hard, talking about him being a junkie and never truly being a father.

She mentioned how he always left me alone and tried to train me to be at his beck and call. She called him every bad name in the book and left nothing out. Unfortunately, she also mentioned everything that she knew about what he had done to me.

The mental and emotional abuse. The physical bruising. The conditioning. Everything.

She didn't use those exact terms, but the meaning was there. Now, everyone knew what I had been through.

A few of Will's friends came back at her, talking shit about me, and how I thought I was better than everyone else. Of course, Denise didn't stand for that. There was a lot of back and forth arguing, then...Colby jumped in.

I swallowed, letting the huge lump in my throat, go down to my stomach.

"Your little junkie friends have one thing right. She was always too good for you, you piece of shit. I promised that I would stay out of it, but you won't let me. You want the world to think that you're just this amazing person, while she's the fuck up. It's fine if the drug addicts of the world want to believe you. They don't matter. But I won't let you slander her name anymore. You want to post screen shots of our conversation? Well, I can post them too, since you left out vital information."