The Choice (a Painful Past)

198 Colby's POV

I made sure to see Callie every day, even if it was just for a few minutes. Sam and I went over for dinner a few more times and hung out with her and her family. There were no more shared kisses, but somehow the looks that we exchanged seemed even more intimate. 

I would catch her staring, when I was playing the game with Ben, or talking shit with one of her brothers. I thought she was actually going to cry the one time that I helped her mother to her feet. 

Every time that I caught her looking, she would blush, smile, and look away, but it warmed my heart...every single time. 

I caught Sam watching me watch her a few times. Usually, I could tell what he was thinking, just from a glance, but his expression was hard to read now. I was afraid to ask him what he thought about Callie and I, or if he had any advice, because I didn't want to hear the bad stuff. 

I didn't want to hear how it wouldn't work, because we lived to far apart, or how she was still healing from all of the crap that she had been through. I knew all of that, but I couldn't face it. Not until I had too. 

When I really stopped to think about it, I knew that I wasn't doing the right thing. I felt like I was leading her on, or something. There were just too many obstacles for us to overcome and I still wasn't even sure if she wanted to be with me. If she even liked, or maybe loved me? I had no clue because we hadn't talked about it. 

I was running out of time with her. I could feel the end coming like a train rushing towards a stalled car on the tracks. I couldn't stop it, I couldn't outrun it, or jump out of the way. It was going to crash, and probably destroy me in the process. 

Why did I let myself get pulled back into this with her? God, it had taken so long to get over her, when I knew she didn't want me. Now, there was a chance that she did want me. As much as I wanted that to be true for myself, I didn't want it to be true for her. 

I knew how bad it would hurt me, when I had to leave. I didn't want her to feel any pain. She had suffered through enough. I just wanted to protect her from it all. Guilt rested on my chest, heavy and solid.

I should've never made any advancements towards her. I should've just stayed her friend. Maybe we shouldn't have even come back here. 

It was finally Friday. We were supposed to go hang out at her place for a few hours, before we went out. Her brothers had already planned a 'Fire Night,' as they called it. As far as I could tell, it was just going to be a few people hanging out around a giant fire, grilling burgers or something, while they blasted music and got drunk. 

"Sounds like fun," Sam had laughed, when Jimmy invited us over. "Nooo," Callie had groaned. "We're supposed to go out somewhere Friday night. Remember? We can't make it." "Oh, come on, Sis," her brother Charles insisted. "It'll give us a chance to get to know your friends a little better. See if they're good enough for you." "Oh God," she muttered, horrified at what he had said. 

"How about we hang out here for a couple of hours, then go out? We have time to do both," I suggested. Her eyes were begging me to decline the offer, but I wasn't going to do that. I didn't see anything wrong with getting to know her brothers a little better. Maybe even some other members of her family that were supposed to come. 

As I suspected, I caught hell from her when we were on Facetime later. "WHY would you accept that?!" she exclaimed. "Now, we have to sit there, while they get shitfaced and embarrass the fuck out of me." 

I laughed and rolled my eyes at her dramatics. "It won't be that bad. We'll stay long enough where they won't think we're rude, and then we'll go. It'll be painless. I promise," I replied.