The Choice (a Painful Past)

38

I had just trusted Colby, when he said it would be easier.

"Just slide off." He replied, making my eyes go wide. "I'll catch you."

I shook my head frantically. "No, you can't!" I exclaimed, with my voice getting a little loud.

"Shhh!" He said, waving his hand, frantically. "You're going to wake him up. Just slide off. I promise I'll catch you."

Again, I shook my head. "Colby, I weigh too much for you to catch me. You'll drop me, or either I'll hurt you. I can't do that."

He rolled his eyes so hard, I could almost hear them whirling inside his head. "Shut up and just slide off, you annoying ass woman. Or you can stay up there all night, until you get sober, I guess. I've got to go home though. It's already past my curfew."

"No, don't you dare leave me up here, Colby!" I whispered loudly.

He laughed quietly again.

"Then slide off!" He exclaimed.

"Fine." I muttered. "But if you break your back, I tried to tell you."

"Shut the fuck up, Callie." He replied, as he held his arms up for me.

I took a deep breath and pushed myself from the roof's edge. I wanted to scream, as I free fell for a couple of seconds, but then the air rushed out of me, as Colby's arms wrapped around me.

"Ooof." He breathed out, when my body hit his.

I felt the blood rush to my face, and thanked the Lord above that it was so dark. I knew that I was going to be too heavy. I didn't even let Will pick me up.

When his name entered my mind again, a fresh wave of pain ripped open my chest, and I gasped.

"Are you okay? Did you get hurt?" Colby asked, with concern.

"No." I replied, hearing how much it sounded like a lie to my own ears.

I did get hurt, but not by jumping off the roof.

Colby took me home that night, and I sat in his car looking at the empty house. I had forgotten that I would be coming home, with no one being here.

My mom had left, moved up north to be with my Aunt Lilly, who wasn't doing well. My mother, being the caretaker that she was, went to help her. She had asked me if I wanted to go with her, but I declined the offer.

I guess she thought 17 was old enough to make that kind of decision, especially since I wasn't even going to school. I wanted to stay with Will.

Now, I wished more than anything that I would've taken her up on her offer.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Colby asked, sensing my hesitation.

I looked at him, with a watery smile.

"No." I said, shaking my head. "You're probably in enough trouble missing curfew. Your mom would kill you, if you didn't make it home."

I did want him to stay, because I didn't want to be alone.

He shrugged.

"I'm already going to be in trouble for taking the car. You know I only have my learners."

I cracked a grin and shook my head. "I tend to forget how young you still are." I replied.

"I know. You believed me when I said I was graduating next year." He laughed.

My mouth fell open and I smacked his arm.

"Colby Brock, I am INTOXICATED! You can't fuck with my brain like that! God, I didn't even realize. You have two whole years before you graduate. Damn...I guess I have two years left with you then, before you get famous and leave me behind." I was kidding, but the realization of those words hit me hard.

He held my gaze for a moment, with the smile fading from his face.

"I will never leave you behind, Callie. Even if I move away, we'll still be best friends. I love you." He replied, gently.

I sniffed back the tears that threatened to come, and smiled back.

"I love you too, Colby. I always will. Thank you for always being here for me, when I need you the most. Even if I am a stupid bitch most of the time."

He rolled his eyes and grinned. "Shut the fuck up, Callie. Come on, I'll walk you to your door."

He got out and walked around to open my door for me, then held his hand out to help me out. I smiled and took it, letting him pull me to my feet. The world was still a little spinny, in my inebriated mind, so I stumbled into him.

When his hands grabbed my waist, all I could think about was how strong they felt. They shouldn't feel that strong on a 15 year old boy, who still had a baby face. He helped me inside, where I collapsed on my couch.

I was so exhausted. Exhausted from crying, exhausted from thinking. Just exhausted from life.

I blinked, but my eyes felt like concrete, so I couldn't open them back up. I felt a blanket cover me, and I think I smiled.

Then he leaned really close to my ear, until I could feel his warm breath on my skin.

"Sleep tight, Callie. Tomorrow is a new day. I love you." He whispered, then pressed his soft lips to my flushed cheek.

"G'night Colby." I murmured, and snuggled deeper into my blanket.

I didn't hear him walk away, or the door close. I was already gone, into the deepest of sleeps that only alcohol can produce.

When I finally cracked my eyes open the next morning, I groaned against the bright sunlight that was coming in through my living room window.

"Noooo, too briigght." I slung my arm over my eyes to stop the laser beams from burning my eyes out of their sockets, then whimpered when the movement caused a resounding, painful thud against my skull.

"Stupid fucking liquor." I muttered quietly, so as not to disturb my head again.

Today was not starting out very well. I lay there trying to bring most of the memories from the night before back. I was going to have to apologize to Colby, for crying and probably snotting all over him.

I hadn't hung out with him in months, and the first time I do, I used him as a crutch to keep me afloat. I gasped when another memory hit me. I was practically in his lap, enjoying one of the most intense kisses that I had ever had.

"Oh My GOD!" I yelled, forgetting that there was a jackhammer inside my skull, until it gave me a painful jolt.

"Oh my God, what did I dooo?" I groaned.

He was 15, for fuck's sake! 15! I was considered of legal age at 17, so I just basically made out with a child.