The Choice (a Painful Past)

117

Denise looked like she wanted to throttle me, after I said that.

"I know that, and you should always be you. I'm not telling you to hook up with different guys. I'm suggesting that you relieve some stress. Just go have a little fun. That's all. No strings attached." She responded.

I thought about what she was saying.

Could I do that? I mean, it wasn't like I hadn't thought about it. I just didn't know how to go about doing something like that.

Brandon probably didn't even want to be with me...but if he did... It had been a while since I had sex. I really missed it. I mean, Brandon was a guy and guys wanted sex any time that they could get it.

Oh my God, what if he rejected me though? I would die from embarrassment and my already low self-esteem would plummet through the floor. I had to drink a little more before I could even attempt something like that.

I could do this though. I could go with him and just have sex for the fun of it.

Right? Yeah, I could do that. No problem.

"We'll see." I replied.

We stayed quiet again, until we finished the blunt and headed back inside.

"You guys reek." Bryon said, when we walked back up to the table.

"Shut up,narc." Denise replied, laughing at him.

"Narc?" Bryon exclaimed, raising his eyebrows. "I'll show you a narc!"

Denise started to shriek and laugh, as he pulled her to him and started nuzzling her neck. I hadn't even looked at Brandon, since I had sat back down, but my eyes went to his, when I looked away from the two love birds.

Our gazes locked for a moment, and then I saw it. Something that I hadn't seen in a long time. The heat in a person's eyes when they want you.

It was nice to see that look again.

"Can we go talk?" He asked, holding my gaze.

I swallowed hard and nodded, before I could change my mind. I took my drink and turned it up, downing the entire thing in three seconds. I was so nervous that I slammed my glass back down onto the table.

Oh my God, was this happening?! Okay, don't freak out, Callie! You can do this. You want to do this.

I kept giving myself a pep talk, while I followed him outside.

"Do you want to maybe come sit in my car? I know that's a little weird though, so if you don't feel safe, then we can just find a quiet spot out here to talk." He said, bashfully, as he reached around and rubbed the back of his head.

"Uhhh." I hesitated, unsure of what to do.

It would be really stupid of me to get into a car with someone that I didn't know. He seemed like a good guy...but still. I'm sure that's what most girls thought before they got date raped or kidnapped by their date, etc.

It would be just my luck to have something incredibly horrible go wrong, the first time that I try to let loose.

"Are you okay?" He asked, bringing me away from the awful places that my mind was taking me.

I was breathing fast, each puff coming out short and halted.

"Yeah, just nervous." I replied, truthfully. "I don't think that I want to sit in your car." I added.

I might have been stupid to put up with all of the shit that Will put me through, but I wasn't stupid enough to put myself at risk like that.

"Isn't there somewhere inside that we can talk?" I asked, as I looked down at my feet and started scuffing the black boot against the sidewalk.

"Actually, there is!" He exclaimed.

I looked up to see excitement pop into his pretty amber colored eyes.

"I can get the key to the office. I know the owner. He won't mind. Does that sound okay? I don't want to do anything that will make you feel uncomfortable. You already seem like you want to jump out of your skin around me."

I let out a short, shrill giggle, and shook my head. "No. Well, yes, I guess I do. You make me nervous." I said, quietly.

The effects of all the alcohol that I had been drinking, combined with the entire drink I had just chugged, seemed to finally be getting to me. The lights seemed extra bright when we walked back inside, and the music was blaring.

I saw Denise and Bryon back on the dance floor, slow dancing to a fast song. I thought it was sweet, but a little weird. Yup, I was definitely feeling the alcohol, because my body begged me to hit the dance floor.

"He's over there. Follow me." Brandon said, dragging my attention away from the thumping music.

He took my hand, so that he wouldn't lose me in the crowd, I was guessing, and pulled me with him over to a guy with shaggy blonde hair and glasses. He was dressed in 90's grunge clothes and smiled when Brandon walked up to him.

"Yo, what's up B-dawg?!" He exclaimed, as they clasped hands and hugged.

"B-dawg?" I whispered, cringing  at the nickname.

Brandon heard me, because he glanced back and grinned.

"Hey man, how's it going?" He asked the 90's rocker.

"Not a lot. What can I do for you?" The guys replied.

"I was wondering if I could use your office for a little while. I met a nice girl and I want to get to know her better. That's hard to do, when you can barely hear each other." Brandon responded, smiling back at me again.

A large grin split the owners face, as he looked over at me. His eyes swept me up and down, making me feel naked and gross. Not at all like how I felt when Brandon had looked at me.

"Yeah, okay, I can help you out. Wouldn't want my man to miss out on getting to know a nice girl. Here's the keys. Just lock the door and drop them off at the bar when you're finished." He said, as he dropped a keychain into Brandon's outstretched hand.

I don't know what it was about that movement, but everything seemed so final then. Like, there was no going back. I was about to do this, while my body felt like it wanted to run screaming from the club and never look back.

"Thanks Dylan. I appreciate it, brother." Brandon replied.

He looked back at me, then pulled me towards him.

"It's right back here." He said.

I let him pull me all the way to the back of the building, where it was darker, and there were a couple of hallways.