The Choice (a Painful Past)

85

She said that the hot water didn't get hot enough. What the fuck?

I was convinced that my mother was some kind of undercover superhero or something.

I sat down on the couch and started watching whatever old movie she had it on. It wasn't long before I got bored, because she had it on a western and that wasn't really my thing.

I pulled out my phone again and texted Sherri and Denise. Oddly enough, they had both already texted me. That was strange.

I opened the top one, the one from Sherri, first.

"Hey, are you okay? I just saw that you and Will broke up? How are you? Call me."

I stared at the message for a minute, then opened Denise's. "Call me right the fuck now! You broke up with Will?! Why didn't you tell me?! How are you handling it?"

The difference in the two messages made me smile, but only for a second. If they knew, then it meant that Will had posted something on Facebook. I was trying to avoid that whole scene, but I should've known better.

He was the type to immediately post it, and talk about how horrible his life was now. I had avoided Facebook specifically for this reason, but I had still hoped that he wouldn't do this.

I decided that it would be easier to call them, instead of texting, so I started with Sherri first. I hadn't spoken to her in a while, so our conversation ran on for a couple of hours, before she had to go.

My conversation with Denise didn't take that long, but it was full of swearing, sympathy, and excitement. I was laughing by the time I got off the phone with her.

"Biiiittcchhh, we need to get the boys and go on vacation this summer!" That sentence from our conversation was ringing in my ears.

Vacation? God, I couldn't even remember the last time that I had been on vacation. Probably when I was a kid.

Still though, I didn't have the money for those types of things and I was used to bad luck. It was probably better to not expect anything or get my hopes up. I shook the tiny bit of hope out of my head, and continued on with my day.

Later that night, after I had gotten Ben into bed, I couldn't stop myself from finally checking Facebook. Even though I didn't want to be with Will, it was still so hard to let him go. I know that most people probably don't understand that, but I loved him.

Things weren't always bad. We had good times, and when we did, they were really good! It was just that we started having more bad times, and they were even worse.

My bed felt empty without him.

I didn't bother scrolling Facebook, but instead, went straight to his page. I scrolled down and sighed, feeling the tears prick my eyes. There was post after post about what a piece of shit he was, how he had messed up the best thing in his life, and swearing that he was going to change for me.

He put all of this out there for the whole world to see. Or, at least, people in our world. There were dozens of comments from people that we didn't even speak to, telling him how sorry they were and asking what happened.

Nosy ass fuckers didn't care at all. They just wanted something to talk about and he was giving it to them.

I read one of his replies to some girl that I had went to school with.

"I don't know what happened. She just said that she doesn't love me anymore."

"Oh, bullshit!" I exclaimed, after reading it.

My cat, Tewwy, jerked herself awake and stared at me with accusing green eyes.

"Sorry." I told her, reaching out to pet her head.

I read on. Every time that someone asked him what happened, he said that he didn't know and that I just said that I had fallen out of love with him. I got pissed off and started to type a reply of my own.

It consisted of a list of the things that had made me fall out of love with him, along with examples of his attitude, and the way he wanted pity from people. My anger kept growing so I kept typing. When I finally stopped, I realized that it looked like I had typed an entire book.

Suddenly, I just got tired of the entire thing and deleted it, without sending it.

What was the point?

Why was I going to feed the flames, and put my life on for people to dissect? Everyone who knew Will, knew how he was and they didn't matter anyway. It was time for me to cut ties with Facebook and the nonsense that came along with it.

I closed the app, and deleted it without hesitation. I settled down into my bed, and pulled my kitty over to the side, so that I could get comfortable. She objected with an annoyed meow, but settled in beside me.

I tried to sleep, but I kept seeing his stupid posts in my mind.

"UUUGGH." I groaned.

I reached over and grabbed my phone again, and opened Instagram. No one knew that I got on here, and Will didn't use Insta, so I knew that I probably wouldn't see anything from him. Since I didn't have very many friends, I didn't see much of anything.

Before I knew it, I had somehow ended up back on Colby's page. I still couldn't believe that the kid that I knew had turned into this amazing hot man. I scrolled through his posts again, and noticed one from a couple of weeks ago.

"Holy shit." I breathed out.

It was a short video of him, shirtless, and making some kind of damn movements to the song 'Bad Guy' by Billie Eilish.

There was glitter and smeared eyeliner on him, and I could swear that he had oil on his perfectly chiseled body. I sat up in the bed, pissing Tewwy off so much that she finally got down to the foot of the bed, and lay down. She gave me an annoyed look, then curled into a ball and closed her eyes.

Lucy always tended to sleep in my closet, unless she got cold, so I wasn't disturbing her.

I watched the video, and felt something stir in my core, when Colby stuck his tongue out. I couldn't look away. I took in every detail, from the line of his abs, to the tattoo on his chest, to the rings on his fingers.

"When the fuck did you get so damn HOT?" I murmured, as I traced my finger over my phone screen.