The Choice (a Painful Past)

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When I got home, I went through my usual to-do list. Check on Mom, feed the cats, feed Mom, then start cleaning.

Of course, checking on Mom included sitting and talking with her for at least 20 minutes.

"Did you have a good time?" She asked, when I poked my head inside her door to let her know that I was home.

I nodded.

"Yes ma'am. It was fun. It was nice to have a night off. Has Jimmy cooked you anything?"

"I'm glad you had fun." She smiled. "And no, but I cooked myself something. I'm okay, for now. You look tired, baby. Why don't you get some rest? Don't worry about the cleaning and stuff."

I shook my head and kept myself from rolling my eyes. "If I don't do it, who will?" I asked, grinning so that she knew I wasn't mad or anything.

This was my life. Yes, it got annoying as fuck, when I couldn't get anyone else to help clean up messes that they helped make, but it was the hand I was dealt in life.

What good did it do me, or anyone else, to stay angry about something that apparently wasn't going to change?

"I will." She replied, as she started scooting off of her bed.

"No, you won't." I said, sternly. "You've already been in there cooking, which means you probably cleaned the kitchen, and I see the laundry basket with folded clothes sitting on your chair right there. You've done enough for today. You can, however, come sit in the living room with me, while I start cleaning. We can put a movie on, or something."

I always tried to let her do what she could, but I didn't want her to overdo it. She needed to feel useful, otherwise, she'd just sink into a depression and that wasn't good for either of us.

After I got her settled on the couch, in the living room, I put on a horror movie. One of my favorites with Matthew Lillard. It was called Thirteen Ghosts.

Most people knew Matthew as Shaggy from the Scooby Doo movies, but he would always be Stu from the slasher movie, Scream, to me.

I hurried through my chores, so that I could sit down with her and finish the movie. There's this one part that always scared the shit out of me, with today being no different. When the Juggernaut jump scares Matthew's character, it always jump scared me too.

I screamed, along with my mom, which made us both laugh.

"Every time." I giggled.

When it was over, I put another movie on for her, then went to prepare things for dinner. I tried to always use the crock pot, or instant pot for meals, since it tended to be easier.

Ben called, just as I was sliding the rest of the chopped potatoes into the pot.

"Hey baby." I answered, with a smile on my face.

"Hey Mom. I guess you can come get me now, if you want. Xander is about to go home soon." He replied, sullenly.

"Well, don't be so happy about it." I laughed.

"Sorry." He chuckled. "But I mean, now I have to go home and do chores, and get ready for school tomorrow. Yuck."

I laughed again and shook my head. "Monday's always suck." I agreed. "Okay, let me finish up preparing dinner and I'll head that way. Love you."

"Love you too." He responded.

I sped through getting the onions, carrots, and seasonings into the pot with the pork loin, set it on high, and went to change my clothes.

I was just now noticing that I was still wearing the same damn clothes from last night.

"Ew." I muttered, as I changed my shirt.

At some time during the night, I had apparently rolled in some sort of alcohol, because the smell was strong, when the shirt passed over my nose. I was gonna need another shower. Later though, because I had to go get my boy.

I hummed one of my favorite songs, while I headed back through the house.

"Going to get Ben. I'll be back soon. Love you." I told my Mom, in passing.

"Love you! Be careful!" She replied.

"Always am!" I yelled back, before I closed the front door.

It was a day like any other day, filled with the same things that they were always filled with, but somehow, this day seemed so much better. I was smiling for no reason. I was singing along, loudly, with my favorite songs, while I drove down the road.

The wind blew a little cooler and the birds sang a little sweeter. It was just a gorgeous day. It was funny, because it had started off kind of gloomy.

I let my mind wander, and it found its way back to Colby. I wondered what he was doing right then.

Were they trying to find other haunted places to investigate?

Or maybe just a random location to explore? Maybe they were just relaxing, like they said they were going to try to do. I didn't really see these two LA guys hanging around this small, middle of bumfuck nowhere town for that long, though.

Whether it used to be their home or not. There was literally nothing here. We didn't even have our own Starbucks for fuck's sake.

I had to drive a full hour, just to go get coffee and come back, if I wanted it. It had only been a couple of years since they built a Wal-Mart on the edge of town. It was nice to have somewhere calm and safe to come home to, though.

No busy traffic, most of the time, no gangs, no large, loud crowds to deal with. Sometimes, I worried that it was a little too boring to raise Ben here. I mean, if you can't find anything fun to do, then you had to get the things that made normal things fun.

Even though I smoked occasionally, and I might have the occasional drink, I didn't want him doing those things. First, I was an adult, but I also wanted better for him. Doing any of those things, at his age, wasn't a good idea.

It just altered your mindset and made you forget why you should be working hard for a better life. I knew firsthand that it would. At that age, it was easy to just live in the moment, and not worry about the future because it was so far away.

Only, it's not so far away. It's on you in the blink of an eye. Before you know it, you've missed your chance and made all the wrong choices.

I didn't want that for him. I understood why parents pushed their kids so hard sometimes.

It wasn't because they didn't understand them. It wasn't because they didn't remember being their age or understand what they were going through. It was because they did remember.

They remembered all too well, and they wanted to try and keep their kids from making those same mistakes.

Just like my chance with Colby. I missed it because I had chosen Will. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out how he fooled me so completely.

I was always the smart girl, the good girl. In AP and Honors classes, in band, never tried any hard drugs, didn't drink, and I tried not to lie.

So, how in the actual fuck did my mind do a complete 180 and fall totally in love with someone that I wasn't even attracted to?!

It didn't make sense.