The Choice (a Painful Past)

22

"But, I apparently care more about this relationship than you do, so just go. Go hang out with your friends. I think I'll go home."

"When are you coming back?" I asked, hating how whiney I sounded.

I didn't want him mad at me. I really did care for him and I didn't want the relationship to be over, with something this dumb.

"I don't know, Callie. You apparently don't want to spend anymore time with me, since you think that we're up each other's asses. So, I'll just stay home for a while. I'll see you later." He replied, then opened the door to go out.

I followed him out into the yard.

"But how are you getting home?" I asked. "Do you want a ride?"

"No!" He yelled back, without turning around. "I came down here on my bike, I'll leave on my bike. I don't need your help."

I didn't say anything else.

What could I say? I watched as he mounted his bike, and set off towards the road. My heart felt heavy, as he pedaled away.

I stood there, watching him, until I couldn't see him anymore. I sighed and went back inside to pack my bag to go to Sherri's. I thought about what had happened the entire time I was packing.

Why did that go so wrong?

Was it really that big of a deal that I hadn't told him the day before? I thought about whether or not I would be mad if he did the same thing to me. I decided that I would've been hurt.

If he had made plans, without telling me, when we usually hang out every weekend, I would have definitely been upset. Shit. I fucked up.

What was I supposed to do about that now? Sherri was already expecting me and Will had already left. I guess I could always just go and then start apologizing when I got back home.

I'd call him from Sherri's and talk it out. We would be fine. I thought about it the entire drive to her house.

It was still on my mind when I finally reached her place.

"Heeeeyyyy!" She shrieked, as she ran out of the house to meet me.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tight. I laughed at her exuberance.

"God, it feels like it's been forever since you've been here!" She exclaimed.

"I know right?" I replied, shaking my head as I followed her into the house.

We went to her room first, so that I could drop my bag, before we headed back to the living room.

"So, Mom and Dad aren't home right now. They went to the VFW to have a 'personal night.' I really hope they don't bring the personal part home." She said, shooting a grimace my way.

"Gross, dude." I replied, faking a gag. "You could've kept that idea to yourself."

She laughed and shook her head. "Nah, if I have to see it in my head, then so do you."

We laughed and joked around for a while, then gossiped about all of the school drama that we had heard. Finally, we started the music videos. At first, we sang along and made up our own dances to all of our favorite songs.

When we were finally worn out, and our throats were severely dry, we sat down to take a break.

"You wanna just watch some Dashie for a while?" She asked, after she guzzled down half of her water bottle.

I shrugged.

"Yeah, that's fine. You know I love me some Dashie." I replied.

So, she set it up, and we just lay back in our recliners to chill. Watching Dashie XP always put me in a good mood. His skits were literally the funniest thing ever.

After a while, my mind drifted back to Will and the argument that we had had. I pulled my phone out to check and see if he had texted me. I hadn't felt or heard anything, but maybe I had my phone on silent.

I couldn't remember putting it on silent, but maybe I did.

My text log was empty, so I decided to text him.

"Hey. I'm sorry about earlier. You were right. I should've told you, but I promise we aren't doing anything or seeing anyone. We're just sitting at her house watching YouTube. I miss you."

I sent the text, then snapped a picture of my surroundings and sent that too.

I hated feeling like he thought I was doing something wrong, when I knew that I wasn't. I stared at my phone for a minute, hoping that he would text right back. When he didn't, I sighed and put my phone down in my lap.

"You okay?" I heard Sherri ask.

I looked up and met her worried gaze.

"Yes. No. I don't know." I replied, heavily.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

So, I went into telling her about the argument that Will and I had, leaving nothing out. She listened quietly, but I could read the emotions as they appeared on her face.

"Cal, you know that's not okay, right? He shouldn't have gotten so mad about it. I can understand him being upset that you didn't tell him sooner, but it sounds like he expected you to ask his permission or something. He's not your father." She said, when I finished.

"I know that." I sighed. "It's just that I would be upset too, if he had done the same thing to me. I need to start thinking about him when I do things like this. If we're going to be in a relationship, isn't it supposed to be like a partnership? 50/50 or something? I just feel like I was definitely in the wrong."

She shook her head. "No, you weren't. Like I said, maybe you should've told him on Thursday, but still. It's not your job to make sure that he is entertained. You can't be up his ass all the time. We haven't hung out in forever and he should understand that you need time with your friends and family." I got what she was saying, but it didn't feel that way to me.

I had definitely been in the wrong.

"I think I love him, Sherri. I don't want to lose him." I replied, hating how my voice sounded whiney again.

She was quiet for a moment, just watching me.

"Really? You love him?" She asked, after a long pause.

I nodded.

"I think so. Which is weird because I never expected it. Hell, I never even liked him all that much, but now...I don't know. I just need him." I said, softly. "I think I'm going to call him. I'll be right back."

I could feel her eyes on me as I walked out onto the front porch. I closed the door behind me and pulled out my phone again.