The Choice (a Painful Past)

57

"Let's go sit somewhere and talk." She said, pulling my arm.

We made our way around to the back of the house and climbed up onto the vacant trampoline. We both lay back, side by side, and stared up at the sky.

"God, it's so pretty out here." Sherri whispered.

"Yeah." I agreed, taking in the beautiful scenery above me.

The universe was just so vast and mysterious. We were just specks in something much, much bigger than us.

"So, do you wanna talk about what happened with you and Will? You seem...different, I guess. You sure you're okay?" She asked, turning onto her side, so that she could look at me.

I kept my eyes trained on the sky.

"Yeah, we're fine now. I'm the same person that I've always been." I laughed. "Maybe we just haven't been around each other in so long, that you don't remember what I'm like."

She didn't even smile. "I don't know, Callie. You really are different. I mean, you've always been a little subdued, but not like this. You seem kind of beaten down or something. Like you've given up."

I turned to meet her gaze. "What have I given up on?" I asked, honestly confused that she would think that.

"I don't know. You tell me." She replied, softly.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Cuz, I'm just me. I haven't changed." I answered.

She stared at me for a moment, then nodded.

"Okay. If you say so. Just remember that I'm always here for you, okay?" She said.

"Of course." I replied, before I lay back and stared at the sky again.

My problems and feelings seemed insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I meant nothing in the long run.

This world was full of people, so why should anything about me, or my life, be important?

"I think I saw Derek here earlier. He was with some blonde girl that I don't know. I haven't spoken to him in months though. I saw Colby, too. I didn't know that he had a girlfriend." She said, after we were silent for a few minutes.

"Wait, what?" I asked, sitting up, because I wasn't sure that I had heard right.

"I saw Derek. He's here with-"

I cut her off. "No, not that part. I heard that. About Colby." I replied.

She sat up with me, looking confused.

"I said that I think that I saw him earlier. You didn't tell me that he had a girlfriend now. Are you okay?"

I had no clue what my face must've looked like, but getting the news from her, and not Colby, was like a punch in the gut.

Had he even ever texted me back? I pulled my phone out of my back pocket to check. There it was.

A text from Colby. I opened it and let out a heavy breath.

"Yeah, we're already here. Logan told me about it. Where are you?" He had sent it shortly after I had texted him, but I hadn't noticed.

"I'm okay." I said, looking back up at Sherri. "I just didn't know either. He didn't tell me."

She furrowed her brow, still staring at me, like she was trying to figure something out. "Oh. That's strange. I thought you guys still talked like every day. You talk to him more than you talk to me." She said, letting out a small laugh.

"Yeah. I don't know why he didn't tell me. He said he was here. He didn't tell me that he was coming over either. What the fuck is going on?" I mused.

That heavy, empty feeling was settling in my gut again, and I didn't like it.

"Well, it's a good thing that he's got a girlfriend, right?" She asked. "Maybe he can finally stop fawning over you."

I grimaced. "He has never fawned over me." I replied. "We've always been just friends."

She scoffed, with a disbelieving smile. "Maybe in your mind, but the kid has been in love with you from the start, Cal. I can't believe you don't see it." She said.

I shook my head.

"Whatever. Wanna go with me to find him?"

"Sure. I need a drink anyway."

We climbed down off of the trampoline, and grabbed the drinks that we had set down on the cooler that was sitting next to it. I gulped the drink down, until my glass was empty.

"Damn girl, tryin ta get drunk, huh?" Sherri laughed.

I shrugged and pasted a smile on my face.

"Why not? I don't have to work tomorrow."

"Hell yeah." She said, wrapping her arm around my neck.

We started walking back around to the front of the house, laughing and talking stupid shit. We started up the stairs to go inside the back door, when suddenly it opened.

"Oopsie." I exclaimed, stepping back out of the way so the person could come down.

"Callie? Why haven't you answered my text?" I looked up and met those deep blue eyes that I knew so very well.

I couldn't speak. It was like I forgot how to. My eyes went from him to the young girl standing next to him.

A pretty brunette, short and skinny. The same girl that had been hanging on him in the picture. My stomach completely bottomed out.

"Um, hey Colby." I squeaked out.

I cleared my throat to try again.

"I didn't realize that you had texted me back." I replied. "I just saw it, so I was actually coming to find you."

"AFTER we make another drink." Sherri spoke up, laughing.

"Well, yeah, after that." I smiled.

What was going on with me? I felt this kind of anger at him, and an immediate dislike for this little girl. She couldn't have been more than 14 or 15 and she wasn't a threat to me.

Colby was like my brother. Then I remembered what I had deduced after I saw her in the picture. I was afraid of her taking him from me.

I was scared that I would lose my friend and that he wouldn't have time for me. Just like I barely had time for anyone anymore.

"Well, here I am. We just grabbed a couple of drinks, but we'll step back inside with you. I want to catch up. We haven't been texting lately. Oh, this is Jen. Jen, this is Callie. The girl that I told you about." He said.

She smiled slightly, and held her hand up in a half wave.

"Hey. I feel like I know you already. Colby has told me so much about you." She replied, sweetly.

"Nice to meet you. Sorry, but he hasn't said a word to me about you." I replied.

I was being petty and I knew it. Drinking made me a little more brave than I usually was. Shit, I was being a bitch.