The Choice (a Painful Past)

50

The next day, I woke up to my alarm blaring beside my head. I groaned and reached over to grab my phone. I wanted to just stay in bed for another couple of hours, but tomorrow was bill day and I had to work hard on making more tips.

Will must've already gotten up, because he wasn't in bed. I sat up and checked my texts first. Since there wasn't anything important, I slid out of bed and padded into the living room with bare feet.

I still didn't see Will.

"Where the hell are you?" I muttered.

I pulled the curtain back and saw him sitting outside on the picnic table, talking on the phone. When I opened the front door, he looked up and smiled. My heart automatically started to melt and feel all warm and gooey inside.

I smiled back and held my hand up in a little wave. I watched, as he jumped down from the table and walked towards me. When he walked up on the front porch, he placed his hands on my hips and pulled me close to him.

"Good morning, Beautiful." He whispered.

"Good afternoon, you mean." I replied.

He laughed and his green hazel eyes lit up.

"Yeah, I guess it is. Did you sleep well?"

I bit my lip and nodded. "Like the dead." I said.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and guided me back inside the house.

"You should go get dressed before coming out here. The cars driving by might wreck when they see those amazing legs of yours." He joked, before he reached down and pinched my bare thigh.

I squealed and jerked away from him, then slapped his hand.

"Stop!" I laughed. "That's such bullshit. No one is looking at me, I can promise you that."

"Oh, trust me," He said, with a grin. "Everyone is looking. You're the most beautiful girl on the face of this planet."

"Whatever." I blushed.

"I'm serious, Callie. You're amazing and I don't deserve you." He replied, softly.

I rolled my eyes, but didn't say anything. I still didn't know how to respond to compliments, much less believe them. He had to say things like that, because he was dating me.

I knew that there were much prettier girls out there and so did he. I liked that he tried to make me believe it though.

He moved his hand, and laced it through my own, then led me back inside the house.

"You have to work tonight, right?" He asked, as he sat next to me on the couch.

"Yeah." I sighed.

I really didn't feel like going in, but I had to. I couldn't risk losing my job and I needed the money.

He nodded and pulled the rolling tray, that had been left on the coffee table, towards him. There was already a packed bowl sitting on it. He picked it up and put it to his lips, then struck the lighter to it.

The dank smell wafted through the living room, riding on the gray smoke that he exhaled. He offered the pipe to me, raising his eyebrows in question. I shook my head.

"No, it'll just make me lazy before I go in. I'm okay, for now, but I expect a fully rolled blunt waiting for me in the morning." I half joked.

I never liked smoking out of a bowl anyway, and he knew that. He had just hit the bowl again, so he cracked a smile and held his breath. He let it out and tapped the sides of the bowl with the lighter.

"I might invite Dustin over tonight. He and Charlotte are fighting again, because she found out that he slept with Rihanna, like, a year ago." He said, rolling his eyes.

"They haven't even been together for a solid year yet, without breaking up." I replied, softly.

I was thinking about how hard it was for me to forget about him accidentally cheating. It must be even worse to forgive someone who knew what they were doing. I knew Charlotte because we had hung out with the same social circle when I was still in school.

She knew Kat really well, but I never got that close to her. She and Dustin had been to my house a few times, to play cards, hang out, or to burn one. We got along okay, but I wouldn't exactly call us friends.

Maybe just friends in the moment.

"What does that matter?" He asked, shrugging. "It's been over a year since they started dating the first time and since they always ended up back together after a few days, I say that it doesn't count. It was still a long time ago. It shouldn't matter now. That's in the past."

I didn't even know how to respond to that.

"Were they together or broken up when it happened?" I asked.

He shrugged again, but I could see it in the way he refused to meet my gaze.

"I don't know, but it still shouldn't matter." He replied. "Anyway, that's them and they're gonna do whatever they're gonna do. Doesn't concern me, but you..." He let his words trail off, as he turned and grabbed me around the waist.

I shrieked in surprise, as he pulled me onto his lap. I hated sitting on his lap. He was this skinny guy that probably weighed half of what I weighed, and I always felt like I was going to hurt him.

Or maybe he'd realize just how fat I really was and not want me anymore. Okay, so he probably weighed more than half of what I did, but still. It's how I felt.

I squirmed until I managed to wriggle back down onto the couch, but very close to him. He let out an annoyed groan.

"You're so fucking annoying when you act like that." He said. "I know how much you weigh, Callie. It doesn't bother me."

For some reason, that felt like an insult.

It doesn't bother him? So, I did weigh enough that it should bother him, but he didn't mind. That's how I took it.

My mind always went to those places. I mean, no one had ever really chosen me first, not even my own mother. She was always an amazing mother, but she chose my aunt over me.

I didn't begrudge her for it, because I knew that my aunt was sick, but facts were facts, no matter how childish I felt for allowing myself to think it. Either no one cared enough about me, or they left.

That was just how my life had always been, so why shouldn't Will leave too? I was sure that he would eventually, but I didn't want to run him off even faster.

"Sorry." I murmured, then leaned over and kissed his cheek. "It's just habit."