The Choice (a Painful Past)

24

"Right?" She giggled, as she let her smoke out. "This is definitely the easier, better way. He told me he would have it whenever I wanted it."

"Plus, his stuff is pure. We never know what we're getting with the other stuff." I said, taking the blunt back when she held it out to me.

My mind kept trying to pull Will back into it. I was trying so hard not to think about him, but it seemed impossible. We talked about her and Chad, and how much she really liked him.

Then we moved on to deeper topics. It happened every time we smoked. I honestly wanted to record the conversations sometimes, because weed just made us think outside the box.

"Why do you think we're here?" Sherri asked, looking up at the night sky. "Like, what's the purpose? We just live, experience pain, happiness, and all that. If we're lucky, we grow old, then we die. Eventually, the memories of us fade, and it's like we never existed. So, what's the point?"

I thought about what she saying.

What was the point of us being here?

"I think that God put us here for a reason." I replied. "Even if that reason seems insignificant, we all have a purpose. I mean, would you rather go through life, and all of it's ups and downs, or would you rather not exist at all? I think, even though the painful times are so bad sometimes that I can't breathe, that I still want to experience it. Even if I'm never in the history books, and no one remembers me, I still want to be here."

We were both quiet for a while, pondering life's meaning, when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw that I had a text from Will.

My heart sank when I remembered that we were over.

"Hey, so I think we need to talk. Are you coming home tomorrow?"

I sighed and texted him back.

"No, I'm not. I told you that I'm spending the weekend with Sherri. I'll be home Sunday. Can we talk then?"

I hit send and waited. Waiting for someone to text me back was literally torture sometimes. It didn't take too long, thankfully, before my phone buzzed again.

"Is that Will?" Sherri asked.

I nodded and read the text to myself.

"Really? You can't come home to try and fix us? Didn't I mean anything to you? Or you're probably glad that it's over, huh?"

I did want to fix us! But, I had promised Sherri that I would spend the weekend with her and help her clean the house.

Would she be okay with me bailing out early? I kind of did want to go home and talk to Will. If there was still a chance for us, then I wanted to take it.

He loved me in a way that I had never had anyone love me before, and I wasn't ready to lose that.

"Of course I want to fix us, if we can! I didn't know that was why you wanted to talk. I thought you pretty much hated me now. I'm supposed to help Sherri clean up though, and I'd hate to bail on her. So, maybe I can do that tomorrow morning, so that I can be home by tomorrow evening. Would that be okay?"

Something felt slightly off about my response, but I hit send anyway. I just knew that I wanted everything to be okay between us.

Another minute passed before his return text came through.

"I don't hate you, Callie. I could never hate you. You're my world. I'm sorry that I got so mad. I will always love you though. I can't wait to see you!"

I smiled to myself, as I read the words on the screen.

"Okay, things must be getting better from the look on your face." Sherri laughed. "Just be careful, okay?"

I looked at her, confused. "Be careful of what? There are always going to be arguments in relationships. We just have to work through them." I replied, happily.

She studied me for a moment, before she nodded.

"You're right. I just worry about my little cousin."

"Little?!" I exclaimed, laughing. "I'm, like, two weeks younger than you! Chill."

I decided to go ahead and tell her that I would be leaving tomorrow. I didn't need her getting mad at me too.

"So, would it be okay with you, if I helped you clean tomorrow morning, so that I could be home by tomorrow evening? I just want to kind of talk to him in person, ya know? Work things out." I said, hesitantly.

"Seriously, Cal?" She asked, sighing heavily. "We never get to do this! I don't even remember the last time we hung out alone."

"I know, Sherri, I do!" I exclaimed. "But, I promise that I'll come back soon. Or you can come to my house! And we still have tonight and tomorrow to hang out."

She stood straight, leaning away from the shed. "Fine. Do what you want. I just thought this weekend was going to be about us. Come on, let's go inside. I'm getting hungry." She replied.

I quietly followed her back inside the house. Neither of us said a word, while she pulled out a couple of small Tostino's pizzas and got the oven ready for them.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, quietly.

She didn't say anything, while she stuck the two pizzas in the oven. When she finished, she turned and met my gaze.

"No, I'm not mad, Cal. I just really wanted to spend the weekend with you. I get it though. I would want to see Chad in person too, if we were making up from an argument. And, like you said," She replied, smiling at me. "We can always make future plans."

I grinned back at her, grateful that she understood. When the pizzas were finally ready, I was ravenous. My stomach growled loudly, as I pulled them out of the oven.

They smelled so amazing, I could seriously feel drool collecting in my mouth. As we were digging into them, my phone buzzed again, so I pulled it out. It was my nightly tweet from Colby.

I hadn't even thought about it, but it was really late for him to be sending me one.

"Sorry that this is so late. Hope you're still awake to get it. I was at Luke's again, and there was another party, as usual."

I wiped my hands on my napkin and started to text him back.

"Dude, can you not even eat without talking to him?" Sherri asked, rolling her eyes at me.

"Shut up." I laughed. "It's not even Will. It's Colby."