The Choice (a Painful Past)

138

"You ready?" He asked.

I looked out at the crowded scene and immediately wanted to shut down.

"No." I gulped.

"It'll be fun." He insisted. "Come on."

He took my hand again and pulled me towards the crowd of dancing people. I was grateful when he stopped next to Denise and Bryon. Her eyes lit up when she saw me.

"Whaaat?! You actually got her out here?" She asked Colby, as she shimmied her body next to Bryon.

Colby laughed.

"It was not an easy feat, but I'm persistent." He replied.

"Damn." Denise responded. "And she's not even drunk."

"Shut up." I laughed nervously.

Everyone was moving their body to the music, except me. I stood there, like a damn log, tense and wooden.

"You know, you have to actually move your body for this to be counted as dancing." Colby teased.

I smiled awkwardly and started to slightly sway my body. I looked around the room, hoping that no one was looking at me.

Next thing I knew, Colby grabbed my hand and spun me towards his body.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, when I felt his hard chest against my back.

He laughed, letting it rumble up from his chest, so that it vibrated through me. Then, he trailed his hands down to my hips and started to move his own to the beat of the music, while my back was pressed against him. I didn't know what to do.

I knew that my body was stiff, not at all relaxed, but he pretended not to notice. There was some sort of electric current running through my body, that I had never felt before, and I didn't know what to do with it.

"Relax." He whispered in my ear.

I shivered a little, as his warm breath caressed my skin.

"Just have fun." I sighed and tried to loosen my body up. "There ya go." He chuckled.

I closed my eyes and focused on the music. The lyrics, the beat, and just the vibe that it released, filled me up, when I finally let it. I relaxed and didn't even think about Colby's hands on me.

I moved my body to the beat and fully let myself feel the music.

After about three songs, someone tapped me on my arm. I opened my eyes, which I had closed for most of the duration of those songs and saw Ben standing next to me.

"What's up, buddy?" I asked, stepping away from Colby.

My face flushed when I realized what I had done. I hadn't even thought about all of these people seeing me dance, or the fact that there were teenagers all around, and here I was just pressed up against this guy that I hadn't seen in years. I was mortified.

I kept my eyes trained on Ben's, but it felt like everyone in the room was staring at me. Judging me.

"Everyone has to leave soon." He replied. "Is it okay if we hang out outside for a little while, before they do?"

"Yeah, of course." I said, smiling down at him. "It's your day, remember? Go for it but stay inside the park grounds."

"Okay, thanks Mom!" He replied, returning my smile.

God, he was getting so grown up and handsome. He was definitely going to break a lot of hearts. I had already noticed a few of the girls eyeing him this evening, but he had been oblivious. Poor girls.

I watched as he turned and rejoined his friends. Him, Xander, and Cason, led the way out the door. Most of the kids followed, except for just a couple.

The parents walked up, thanked me for the invite and the good time, then excused themselves, saying that they were going to go. I nodded and went through the usual goodbyes and thanks for comings. I handed the kids their goodie bags and told them to let Ben know that they were leaving.

Afterwards, it was just me, Denise, Bryon, Sam, Colby, and a couple of parents that hadn't walked outside.

"Um, I'm gonna step outside and spoke a cigarette." I told Denise. "Wanna join?"

"Yeah, we'll come." She replied.

Her and Bryon stood up to follow me outside. I looked over to Sam and Colby, who had taken a seat just a few feet away.

"Do you guys want to come outside for a few?" I asked.

"You still smoke?" Colby asked, looking disappointed.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yes, Dad, I do." I replied.

"You can't say anything, brother." Sam spoke up, looking at Colby. "You vape. Still just as bad for you, if not worse."

Colby's eyes went from me to Sam, and he pursed his lips in annoyance. "No one asked you, Sam. Come on." He replied.

I could see the slight smile on Sam's lips. I wanted to laugh. They truly acted like brothers.

We all headed outside and towards my car. Denise and Bryon were parked right in front of me, so they ducked inside their car for their cigarettes, while I ducked inside of mine. When I lit one and sucked in that first hazy cloud of smoke, my body seemed to relax infinitely.

I let out a long sigh and leaned my head back to look at the sky. The moon was almost full, standing bright and beautiful, lighting the night in her silvery glow.

"Remember when we were on that trampoline at your house? We were looking at the moon that night too." Colby said, softly.

I glanced over to him and smiled.

"I do. That's a habit that I still do. Only without the trampoline. When I'm feeling stressed or I just need a mental break, I'll go lie on the grass and stare up at the moon. Something about it just seems to give me peace for a little while."

"Yeah, I get that." He replied.

"So, how long are you guys staying in town?" Bryon asked.

"Probably just a couple of days." Sam answered.

I watched Colby take out his vape pen and take a long hit from it.

"That smells like berries." I said, watching him.

"It should." He laughed. "It's a berry slushie flavor."

"You have any more plans while you're here?" Denise asked Sam.

I realized that Colby and I weren't even part of the conversation that was happening around us. Oops. I smiled to myself and looked up at him.

He gave me a quick smile, shrugged, then turned his attention to Denise.

"Not really. Just a few days of relaxation, I guess. We've been traveling a lot, so some down time is definitely needed." He replied.

"Where are you staying while you're here?" I asked.

"That little hotel on the edge of town. The one that's about a mile from the Dairy Queen." Sam responded. "It's not the most elaborate place, but it's clean and has comfortable beds."

"Elaborate?" I laughed. "You know that there is nothing elaborate about this town."

I earned a round of laughter from all of them.

"Yeah, you're right. It's peaceful though. Elaborate isn't always what a person needs." Colby said, quietly. "Sometimes, they just need the peace and quiet. The memories of what was and the possibilities of what could be."

For some reason, that felt so deep, that I almost felt like I was invading on something really personal.

Everyone fell silent for a few moments, as we looked up at the sky again.