The Choice (a Painful Past)

64

He shrugged and gave me a lopsided, unsure smile.

"I'd do anything for you, Callie. Anything at all. Give you anything I can. Just tell me and I'll do my best to make it happen." He replied.

I shook my head and slid my shorts on.

"I don't need anything, except respect, Will. That's all I ask from you." I replied, training my eyes on the floor.

I hated feelings. My heart was thumping loudly inside my chest, like I was running a damn marathon, instead of about to have a talk about things with Will.

"And maybe some financial help with these bills and stuff. I know you said you've been looking, but you might have to settle for a job you don't want. I know they're hiring at the Burger King in the middle of town. Colby said-" I stopped talking, and felt my face flush.

Damn it, I hadn't meant to bring him up.

Will's jaw clenched for just a second, but then he relaxed.

"What did he say?" He sighed.

"Sorry." I replied, immediately. "Um, just that the Dairy Queen is hiring. He has a job there after school."

He nodded, then met my gaze. "You know I'm not trying to do fast food, Babe. That's just not for me. I'll find something soon, I promise. I'm not working in fast food though. I just wish that there were more painting jobs." He had a thoughtful expression on his face, while he chewed his bottom lip. "Hey, what about your brother? He does carpentry and didn't you say that he was coming home soon?" He asked.

My brother, Jimmy, was a carpenter, just like our dad before him. He was a damn good one too, having learned everything from our father. He would move to wherever the work was, then come home to find some, when the work ran out where he was at.

I was pretty excited to see him.

He had stepped into the "father role," when our dad had passed away.

He had a room here, that hadn't changed since the last time he was home. Whenever he was in town, this was his home too.

"Yeeah." I replied, drawing the word out.

I wasn't really sure how Will would do working with Jim. My brother didn't take any bullshit.

If you had the sniffles and cough, so what? You fucking went to work.

If you sprained your wrist, so what? You still had a good hand to work with. He was just like my dad had been about working.

My mom and dad raised us all with the same values and morals that they had. Which meant, if you were the man in the family, you did what you had to do to support your family. If the woman wanted to work, that was fine, but she didn't have to, especially if you had kids.

My mom was a stay at home mom when I was born, but she was also already 40 years old, and had worked her entire life. When my dad became disabled, he stayed home with me and my mom went to work. I remembered that she worked in a sewing factory, and a bakery.

I remembered walking inside that bakery, and inhaling deeply. It smelled like fresh bread and vanilla. I would forever associate that smell with my mom.

I smiled at the memory, forgetting that I was in the middle of a conversation.

"Callie, did you hear me?" Will's voice broke through my memories and jerked me back to reality.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. Drifted off for a minute." I said, laughing nervously. "What did you say?"

He rolled his eyes, but there was a slight smile on his lips. "I said that maybe we could move with him, when he leaves. So, that I could work with him."

I shook my head immediately. "No, I don't want to leave. If I did, then I would've left with my mom, when she asked me to go with her. This is my home. Besides, I don't even know if he would be able to get you on with him."

"We can't stay here forever, Callie. There are no jobs. This town is trash. Too small and everyone is always in your business. I can't wait to get away from here." He said.

"Maybe not, but I'm not moving right now. We don't even know how long Jimmy is staying anyway, so let's start with that first." I answered.

"Okay, okay fine. I guess we don't really have a choice anyway. When did you say he was coming?" He asked.

"Uh, next weekend I think." I replied.

Might've been this weekend, but I couldn't remember.

"Yeah, pretty sure that it's next weekend." I responded, going over what I could remember of our last conversation.

I really needed to stop smoking so much pot. I was stoned a LOT, so those memories were hazy.

"Okay, cool." He replied, nodding his head. "I'll ask him when he gets here." We both fell quiet, unsure of what the next step was.

I waited, holding my breath, for him to start speaking again, but he didn't. So, I steeled myself and let out the breath.

"Okay, I guess I need to say some things, and I need you to shut up until I'm finished." I said, as I fiddled with the rings on my fingers. "Actually, let's sit down to do this. Wanna go sit in the living room?"

"Okay." He sighed.

He looked like he was already broken, crushed by what I hadn't even said. He followed me out of the room and into the living room. I took one of the recliners, because I wasn't sure that I would be able to finish what I had to say, if I was sitting close to him.

He sat on the couch, across from me, with the coffee table separating us.

"Okay." I said, as I rubbed my sweaty palms on my shorts. "So, first, you said some really hateful things to me last night."

"I-" He started, but I interrupted him.

"NO, let me finish." He fell silent, as his face fell. "I won't live like that, Will. That really hurt me. For you, the person who is supposed to love me more than life, to call me a whore, a bitch, and whatever else you said...it cut to the bone. Is that what you really think of me? Worse than that, you called me a coward and a pussy. I guess that hurt the most, because you were right. But, I'm not going to be like that anymore. I can't just sit here and let you treat me this way. I know that you have been through a lot, but that doesn't give you the right to treat the one person who has been there for you, like shit."