The Choice (a Painful Past)

118

"The bathrooms are down this one, but Dylan's office is down this one. All the way in the back." He replied, pointing to show me the last door that was way down at the end of the hallway.

I swallowed hard again, feeling the strain in my throat. I nodded and followed him towards the room. This was it.

I was about to have sex with someone besides Will. I felt like a virgin again. A bumbling, nervous virgin.

He unlocked the door and pushed it open, revealing a modest little office. There was a big, scuffed up desk on the back wall, piles of magazines, posters on the wall of local and not so local bands, but that wasn't where my eyes were drawn. No, my eyes automatically went straight to the large, plump, black couch that was pushed against the side wall.

There were a few rips in the leather upholstery, but it seemed to be in decent enough shape. Since Brandon had let go of my hand to unlock the door, I half walked, half stumbled over to the couch and sat down on the edge.

"Do you want something to drink? Dylan has his own private bar back here." He said, as he walked over to the little mini fridge that was resting beside the desk.

"Oh, uh, just water maybe." I replied, softly.

I didn't know what he had to drink back here, and if I were being honest, I was already feeling pretty drunk.

"Got it." He said, pulling out a bottle from the door.

He walked back over to me and sat down on the couch, leaving about a foot in between us. He passed me the cold bottle and sat back, letting his arm drape over the back of the couch.

"So, what was that about me making you nervous?" He asked, as a teasing little smirk crossed his full lips.

"Oh, haha, um, yeah. You make me a little nervous." I responded, as I started picking at the label that was on the bottle of water.

"Why? You're gorgeous, so I can't be the only guy who's ever hit on you." He replied.

I let out a short scoff and shook my head.

"Maybe not the only guy, but there hasn't been many. I was in a relationship with the same guy for a lot of years. We broke up about a year ago and I haven't really been ready to meet anyone new." I told him.

Why was I telling him all of this? God, the liquor was loosening my tongue! He didn't need to know all of this about me!

This was supposed to be a no strings attached, no information, kind of thing.

So, why wasn't he making a move?

"But you're ready now?" He asked, sliding closer to me, until his arm was around my shoulders and his thigh was pressed up against mine.

Okay, here was his move. Ah, Christ, my heart felt like it was going to beat straight out of my chest and my breathing felt labored. Okay, it's fine.

I could do this.

"I don't know." I answered truthfully. "I'm not ready for another relationship, but..." I didn't know how to continue that sentence.

I met his gaze, praying that he understood what I was trying to say.

"How about a night?" He whispered huskily, as he leaned towards my neck, and brushed my hair back from my shoulder.

Chills erupted where his warm fingertips touched my skin. I let out a light shaky breath, as I felt his lips caress my overheated skin. It felt strange but nice. More than nice.

He shifted himself, so that he was somehow closer to me, with his wet tongue tracing a path along my neck, down to my collarbone. My breathing picked up, and I felt my chest tighten a little. I was still so fucking nervous.

I closed my eyes and let my head fall to the side, giving him better access. I felt his free hand lay on my upper thigh, and my body tensed. I tried to lose myself in the sensations that he was causing me to feel, but it was so hard to do.

My mind was racing with so many different thoughts and I couldn't concentrate.

Was I ready for this? It wasn't dark enough in here. He was going to see my body.

What if he changed his mind, after seeing me, and didn't want anything to do with me?

What if I couldn't go through with it?

Would I be able to push him away and say no?

Would he listen? God, I didn't even know this guy.

What was I doing?! This wasn't me!

His hand on my thigh started to move up and down, towards my heat, then back down a few inches. His mouth was still working on my neck, my collarbone, and my ear. I hadn't moved at all.

My hands still lay in my lap, motionless. I should do something.

I hesitantly moved my hand out of my lap, and over to the back of his head. I tangled my fingers in his hair but froze when I heard him moan a little. His hand brushed over my heat, then to my hip on the opposite side.

I let out a small noise that didn't even sound human. He took it as encouragement and slowly moved his hand under my shirt. I didn't want him touching me there. Not my stomach.

My rolls were just hanging there. I knew it wasn't that bad, but I still had a couple of rolls when I sat down. I needed to lie back. To make them flatten out again, but he didn't seem to notice them at all.

I did though, and I was really uncomfortable, as his hand brushed over my stomach. It was almost a relief when he moved it up to my breast. His large hand engulfed it and started to massage it, sensuously.

"You okay?" He whispered against my ear.

"Y-yes." I stammered out, breathless from all of the emotions and thoughts running through my brain.

"Good." He replied, before he sat up a little.

Before I knew what was happening, he placed his hands on my waist and pulled me into his lap. He shifted me, trying to make me face him, so I did. Now, I was straddling him.

Oh. My. God! What was I supposed to do??

Thankfully, he took control. He placed my hands on his shoulders, then reached up and placed one of his hands on the back of my neck. I let him pull me down to him, so that he could press his lips to mine.

There was heat when they connected, a pull that I hadn't felt in a really long time. His lips were full and soft, melding perfectly with mine.