The Choice (a Painful Past)

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Right when I was about to accept the call, it stopped ringing. I breathed a sigh, though I wasn't sure if it was in regret or relief.

"Why didn't you pick up?" He sent.

I didn't know what to say. Shit! Anxiety was literally clawing its way back up my throat.

"Because it surprised me and I dropped my phone. By the time I was about to answer, you hung up." I replied, honestly. "Besides, I look like shit right now. Trust me, you don't want to see this."

"Uh, yeah, I do. You could never look like shit, btw. You've always been beautiful. I just wanted to hear your voice. It's been a long time and we've been messaging for a while. I don't even have your number. Well, actually, I do, but only because I got it from Sam. Would you answer if I FaceTime you?" He responded.

Shit! UGH, I didn't know what to do!

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I muttered.

I didn't want to look like a total mess when he saw me for the first time again. I knew that my makeup was running. I hadn't even washed my dirty face.

My hair was in knots, tangled against the back of my head and I probably had dirt streaks or something on my face, from passing out on that dirty floor.

I took a deep breath and made the choice.

"Beautiful? I think you got your memories mixed up haha but yes, I'll answer. Just give me a few minutes first, okay? I'll message you when you can call."

I waited anxiously for him to message back, with my feet rubbing against one another to try and calm myself. It wasn't working very well.

"Awesome! Okay, I'll be waiting." He replied.

I threw my blanket back and went straight to the bathroom to wash my face.

After that, I threw on some light makeup, just enough to cover my blemishes, make my eyes stand out, and maybe cover up the 'dead' look that I always had.

Then, I tackled the tangled mess that was my hair. It had really been through some shit tonight. Between me constantly messing with it, Brandon tangling his fingers in it, and the mess that came from passing out on the floor, I almost wanted to jump in the shower to get that conditioner in it.

Instead, I sprayed some leave in conditioner in it and yanked the brush through it the best that I could. After making it look like it had a little volume and wasn't caked down with the bar atmosphere, I looked in the mirror. I looked ridiculous, standing there with makeup on my face, and my hair halfway styled, dressed in only a rumpled t-shirt.

I watched the smile spread across and it surprised me. Don't get me wrong, I was much happier now than I was when I was with Will, but I didn't really have much to smile about. Even when I did, I always felt this heaviness that wouldn't let me fully appreciate the moment.

Right at this moment, though, I felt light and carefree. Like I was a kid again. I started to giggle at myself, thinking how stupid I was to be acting like this with Colby, of all people.

It was Colby! So what if he wasn't a skinny little kid anymore!

What did it matter that I literally wanted to eat off of his abs in that one photo? It was still Colby. Just a grown up, more defined Colby.

His body didn't change who he was. Fame didn't change who he was...or, at least, I hoped it hadn't. Through his messages, it didn't seem like he had changed all that much.

I groaned and snatched up a tube of tinted Chapstick that I had, just to add a touch of color to my lips.

"Okay, I guess that's all I can do." I told my reflection.

I was very hesitant to let Colby see what I looked like now. Especially knowing what he looked like now. I was definitely nowhere near in his league.

I sighed and walked back over to my bed. Instead of lying on my back, I grabbed my phone and lay on my stomach. That way, I could at least control the angle of the damn phone and would hopefully not show that double chin that liked to appear sometimes.

I messaged him before I could change my mind.

"You can call now." I sent him.

Again, he messaged back immediately.

"I was wondering if you were just going to leave me here haha that took a while! What were you doing?"

"It doesn't matter what I was doing, Brock!" I exclaimed to the darkness.

I was about to tell him that, but my phone started ringing, alerting me to an incomingvideo call from a number that I didn't know. Shit. My heart started racing, feeling like it was trying to jump out of my chest.

I swallowed hard and pressed the accept button, hesitantly. Colby's face filled my screen, and I had to smile. He was really close to the screen, looking down so that it gave his head an egg shape.

Maybe not so perfect, as his Instagram let on.

"Hey dork." I laughed.

"CALLIE!" He yelled.

"Shhh!" I exclaimed, putting my finger to my lips. "Everyone here is asleep and you're loud as shit!"

"Oops." He replied. "Sorry. It's so good to see you, Cal. So, so good. I've missed your pretty face."

"Whatever." I muttered, rolling my eyes. "I've missed you too. I'm sorry that I didn't keep in touch."

We had already talked about all of that in messenger, but I felt like I needed to say it. Pushing him away was one of my greatest regrets.

"Yeah, that hurt, I'm not gonna lie." He replied. "But, I understand why you did it, in a way. You know, that asshole really had a hold on you. I still want to kick his ass."

"Ugghh." I groaned, as I ran one hand through my hair. "I don't want to talk about him right now. Please. I know he did. I fucked up a lot, while I was with him. The bad thing is that I still think about him and I don't know why. It's weird. Anyway, enough about that. What have you been up to? I bet you're just living it up in LA, huh?"

He was quiet for a moment, just holding my gaze, until I looked away. "Sometimes, yeah. I mean, we have a lot of fun, but we also work hard. Parties are common now, but they aren't as big as they used to be. Now, they're usually just a small group of friends."