The Choice (a Painful Past)

58

"Of course, we haven't been talking lately, so he probably just hasn't had a chance." I added.

I looked back at Colby, ready to send him a teasing smile, but it froze on my face. There was some kind of look on his face that I couldn't read. There was confusion, but also something else.

"What?" I asked, reaching up to run my hand through my hair.

He was making me self conscious looking at me like that.

He shook his head.

"Nothing. Let's go get you guys those drinks."

Sherri and I followed him and Jen back inside the house. The kitchen was still pretty packed, but not as bad as earlier. I noticed that most of the two liters were almost gone and the only alcohol left was 1 large bottle of vodka and half a bottle of Jack.

"Damn, looks like it's being cleared out." Sherri said, grabbing the bottle of vodka.

"There's still a couple six packs of Smirnoff in the fridge, and a few Puckers, I think, if you guys want those." Colby said, walking over to the fridge.

"Why are you trying to serve me in my own house?" I laughed, walking over to him and poking him in the side.

"Hey!" He exclaimed, ducking and smiling. "I'm just being nice. You kinda look like you've had a rough day."

I widened my eyes and put on an offended face. "So, you're saying that I look like shit. Damn Colby, thanks."

His eyes widened in surprise. "What? NO! That is not what I said! You're beautiful, you're always beautiful. I just meant- uh- you look tired or something, I guess. Damn it, Callie! You know what I meant!"

I couldn't hide the smile that was growing on my face. He saw it and kind of growled at me. I wasn't sure why, but something stirred in my belly at that sound, and it wasn't unpleasant.

"I know what you meant. Give me the damn watermelon Puckers, jerk." I laughed.

"I can't stand you." He sighed, as he reached inside the fridge and grabbed the Puckers.

"You love me." I quipped, not thinking about the words that I was saying, yet again.

I was taking the Puckers bottle from his hand, when he froze at my words. I didn't realize anything was wrong, until he wouldn't let go of the bottle. I glanced up at him, ready to roll my eyes at him being a dumbass, but the look in his eyes had me questioning what was happening.

"Yeah, I do." He murmured, holding my gaze.

How were his eyes so damn pretty? It was like they were an ocean that you could just happily drown in.

God, why didn't he have more girlfriends? This Jen chick was the first one that I had seen him around in ages.

I realized that we were just standing there, staring at one another, with our fingers touching, holding that damn bottle of alcohol. I shook my head, trying to clear my muddled mind, and took the bottle from him.

"Thanks." I said, pasting another smile on my face.

He was looking at me with such intensity, that I had to look away.

I met Sherri's gaze when I turned away from him. She had her eyebrows raised, and a knowing look on her face.

"Shut up." I mouthed to her, silently.

So, he had a crush. So what?

I knew he had a crush before. Maybe he just never completely got over it. Then I went and kissed him the other night, and the feelings for me came back. Whatever.

I wasn't anyone special. He would get over me soon enough. Especially hanging out with the cute, skinny Jen.

She looked like a damn cheerleader, or some shit. Preppy and peppy.

Not at all the kind of girl that I would've pictured Colby with, but what did I know about his taste in girls? We had never even talked about it.

I walked past Sherri, glaring at her, as I headed back outside. I needed some air. They would come when they were finished with the drinks, or whatever.

I felt like I couldn't breathe in that damn kitchen. It was too small for so many people. Once the night air hit my face, I gulped in deep breaths, trying to clear my buzzing brain.

Maybe chugging vodka wasn't a good idea. Too late now. I broke the cap on the Puckers and turned it up.

The sweet and sour taste hit my tongue, and went down easily. I actually loved these things, but they could fuck you up quick, if you weren't careful. Well, I was tired of being a goody goody.

For one fucking night, I was just going to be bad and do whatever I wanted. Fuck Colby, fuck Sherri, fuck Jen, and fuck Will.

"Cal! Hey, Callie!" I heard Colby yelling my name, so I turned to see him walking out onto the back porch steps. "Why'd you run out?" He asked, walking down to meet me. "Are you okay? Are you getting sick? What happened?"

"Oh my God, stop asking so many fucking questions." I groaned.

"Stop doing that." He snapped.

My eyes widened in surprise, but I didn't retaliate.

"Are. You. Okay?" He asked again, clipping his words.

"Yes, Colby, I'm okay." I replied, in exasperation. "There were just too many damn people in there. I felt like I was suffocating."

"So, it didn't have anything to do with...what happened?" He asked, glancing back towards the door.

Probably looking for little Jen.

"What happened?" I asked, pretending like I had no clue what he was talking about. "I don't know what you mean."

His forehead creased, and he held my gaze with those intense ass blue eyes. "Yes, you do. I know you felt that too. I know you did. You can't lie to me, Callie." He insisted.

"What was I supposed to feel, Colby? And when?" I asked, raising my voice a little and throwing my hands up. "You gave me my drink. Thanks, I guess? I don't know what you want from me!"

"The truth!" He yelled back.

I automatically started to shut down, just like I did when Will yelled at me.

It was like I tried to shrink in on myself, so that no one noticed me.

"I just want the truth, for once. Tell me the truth, Callie. You feel something for me, don't you?"

I looked up and met his hopeful gaze...but I couldn't do it. I wasn't sure that I did feel anything for him. He was my best friend.