The Choice (a Painful Past)

70

I was determined not to cry.

"Hey, Cole." I whispered back.

He laughed, a low rumble that echoed in my ear, at me using his given name. I felt him start to pull back, so I did the same. His eyes were a mixture of fear, excitement, and sadness.

"Hey Sam." I said, throwing my hand up in greeting to the blonde kid standing off to the side.

I had gotten to know him pretty well in the last couple of years. He was a good friend for Colby. He pushed him to succeed and believe in himself.

They had gained so many followers from the social media app, Vine, that they were semi famous in our hometown. It was crazy to think about, but I knew that they would make their marks in this world.

"Hey Callie." He replied, giving me a half smile.

He knew how hard this goodbye was going to be, for both Colby and myself.

"You guys are all packed up, I see." I said, motioning towards the car.

Colby glanced back, then back to me and smiled.

"Yeah, everything is taken care of. Almost everything I want in that car. We just have to hit the road." He replied.

His stare was so intense, I wanted to hide from it. It was like his eyes were searching for something in mine, and I was scared of what he might find. So, I looked away, out to the horizon.

"That's good. I bet you guys are excited. LA. That's a big change. A big city." I said.

This felt awkward and tense. I didn't like it, but I didn't know how to change it.

"It's gonna be a change. Definitely." Sam replied, smiling at me. "But it's gonna be amazing! You should come visit as soon as you can, Callie. There's always room for you at our place. I mean, when we get a place. I'm sure Colby would sleep on the couch, if we have one, so that you could have his bed."

I laughed, but it sounded fake to my own ears.

"I would sleep on the floor, if I had to." Colby said, but his voice wasn't as light and cheery as Sam's was.

I just smiled at him.

"Maybe one day." I replied, softly.

"Yeah, I hope one day soon." He added.

"Hey, not trying to rush you, but also trying to rush you. We have to be on the interstate in less than 15 minutes, if we want to make it to Nick's place before dark."

"Nick?" I asked.

Colby ran his hand through his hair, then tried to fix it with his fingertips. I saw Sam jerk his head, to flip his hair out of his eyes. They seemed to almost, subconsciously, move together at times.

It was eerie.

"Yeah, another Viner. He said that we can stay at his apartment until we can get our own. We're gonna share a room." He replied.

"Oh, well that's nice of him." I said.

I didn't know that I was picking at my nails, until Colby reached down and grabbed my hand to stop me.

"You're anxious." He said, looking back up and meeting my gaze.

"Yeah, I guess." I replied. "I don't want you to go...but I know that you have to."

Sam turned, and walked back to the car. "See you around, Callie." He yelled, with a wave, before he climbed back in the car and closed the door.

"I have to go." Colby said, still holding my gaze.

"I know." I responded.

Even I could hear how thick with tears my voice sounded.

"You gonna be okay?"

I nodded and smiled. Or, at least, I hoped it was a smile. I was trying very, very hard not to cry.

Colby reached his hand up to my cheek, and swiped it with his thumb. It came away wet. I guess I lost the battle.

I slung my arms around his neck, just as he pulled me close in a tight hug.

"I'm gonna miss you so, so much." I choked out.

I clung to him, like he was my life raft, keeping me afloat in the storm of my life.

Was I going to drown without him?

"I'll miss you too, Callie. I'll FaceTime you everyday, and text you. It'll be just like I'm still here...only, I won't be here." He replied.

His voice sounded a little thick, too.

A horn blared then, and I knew that Sam was trying to rush Colby up. They had somewhere to be, a life to start. I pulled away from him, but he kept his hands on my waist.

"This isn't goodbye, Cal. Just see you later, okay?" He asked, searching my tear filled gaze.

I pressed my lips together, and nodded.

"I have to go." He whispered.

He leaned towards me slowly, making sure that I could stop him, if I wanted to.

What was the point in that now? I wasn't with Will, and Colby was leaving. I could give him this.

His soft, full lips pressed against mine, gently at first, but then almost domineering. A moan of surprise slipped from my lips, giving him the chance to deepen the kiss. It was just as amazing as it had been the first time, when we had played Spin the Bottle. Maybe even better.

He had been inexperienced then, but not now. Now, he definitely knew what he was doing. He was a way better kisser than Will had ever been.

Pain shot through my heart at the thought of Will's kisses, so I pushed gently on Colby's chest. He slowed the kiss, then placed one soft peck on my lips, before pulling away.

"I love you, Callie." He said, squeezing my hip one more time.

"Love you, too." I replied, as I watched him walk back to his car.

"I'll see you soon!" He yelled, after he opened his door.

I just waved. My heart clenched, like someone was twisting it in a vice grip, tearing more pieces of it off, one by one, watching it shatter as they hit the ground. I watched his car back out, and pull away, until he was gone.

That was it. He was gone. Off to LA to start his new life, with his best friend.

I really hoped that it worked out for him. I did...still, one teeny, tiny piece of me wanted them to give up and move back home immediately. That was just the selfish bit of me though.

I wanted Colby to have everything in his life, that he had ever wanted. He and Sam had worked hard to get to where they were, never stopping, or giving up, even when things were hard. Even when everyone at school teased them, and made nasty memes.

I wasn't there, but I had heard the stories. I would've given up. Without a doubt. I know that I would have.

I let the tears fall freely, while I stood outside for a while.