The Choice (a Painful Past)

124

"Oh God." I gasped, sitting straight up in the bed.

I had fallen asleep with Colby still on the phone! I hoped that he had the decency just to hang up, because I was sure that me drooling, or snoring wasn't a pretty picture.

I smiled when I thought about our very long conversation though. The last time that I had checked the time, before I finally passed out, it had been after 5am for me. I couldn't even remember when I had stayed up that late just for fun, or to talk to someone.

I almost felt like a kid again.

I thought about the way Colby's eyes lit up when he would laugh, and the way he would make funny faces or acted dorky, just to make me laugh.

"What is happening to me?" I murmured.

I literally felt like a girl with a crush. I couldn't have a crush on Colby though. This feeling was just because I was so happy that I was reigniting our friendship.

I hadn't realized just how much I missed him being a part of my life. My phone was completely dead now, so I hooked it up to the charger and started getting ready for the day. Technically, the day was already halfway over, but I still had things to do.

Late that night, Colby Face Timed me again. I thought about skipping the call, until I could fix my hair and do a little something with my face, but then I decided not to. I couldn't do that every single time he called.

Besides, I had already washed my face for the night. It was stupid to get dressed up, just to talk to a friend. And that's all Colby was to me.

An amazing, thoughtful, incredibly hot friend.

I started to look forward to our nightly calls. I had to get him to start calling a little earlier, because of the time zones though. We usually ended up talking for a couple of hours, at least, and I always had to get up early.

My life went on as usual, with me running errands, taking care of mom, and dealing with a lot of the kids' activities.

The calls from Colby started to become the perfect end to a dull or stressful day. He gave me something to look forward to on the dull days, and someone to gripe to on the stressful days.

For example, Ben's 15th birthday was coming up, and I was stressing about it hard. He wanted a new game system or a new phone. Both things that I couldn't afford.

It seemed like the older he got, the more expensive things he wanted. I wished that I could be one of those parents that could get him both items, but that wasn't possible. I wasn't even sure that I could get one of the items.

"Which one do you want more?" I asked him.

He tapped his chin, and the peach fuzz on there and his upper lip caught me by surprise. He was growing up fast. Soon, he wouldn't need me anymore.

That was both heartbreaking and terrifying to think about, so I pushed the thought from my mind.

"My phone is still working fine and it's not that old, so I'll take the game." He replied.

I sighed and pasted a smile on my face. The phone would've been cheaper.

"Okay, I'll do my best, but I'm not making any promises." I replied.

"It's okay, if you can't." He said, smiling.

God, what did I do to deserve this kid? I so wished that I could get him everything that his heart desired.

I was complaining to Colby about not being able to get Ben something that he really wanted for his birthday.

"I can help out, if you want." He replied.

Again, my mouth dropped open in shock.

"No!" I exclaimed. "I don't want your money, Colby. I wasn't telling you because I was fishing for help. I'll figure it out. I always do. I just needed to bitch about it to a friend first. I'm sorry, if that's what you thought I was doing. I would NEVER ask for money from you."

"You didn't ask." He replied. "I offered. It's really not a big deal."

I held his intense gaze for a minute, contemplating if I could take his offer. I would do anything to make Ben happy, but...

"No, thank you. I really appreciate the offer, but I can't let you do that. It wouldn't be right." I sighed.

"You are still so stubborn." He replied, sounding exasperated. "Fine, but if you change your mind, just let me know."

I nodded and gave him a small smile. "Okay, but I won't change my mind. I might just get him the phone, because that game really is way out of my budget. He's a good kid. He'll still love it." I said, softly.

"He sounds amazing. I would love to meet him. Sam says he's an awesome little guy. Why haven't I met him yet?" He asked.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, in surprise. "Well, I don't know. He's never mentioned it and neither have you. I guess I just didn't think about it."

"Really? He's never mentioned it? Damn, that hurts." He chuckled. "I'm just leftover parts in the Sam and Colby duo, huh?"

I laughed and shook my head. "What can I say? The kid loves him some Sam. He looks up to him. I think it's because Sam kind of looks like him, with the blonde hair and blue eyes. Sam is also always talking about how you should live your life to the fullest and not worry about what other people think."

"I do that, too." He murmured, watching me intently with those damn eyes.

"I know." I murmured back, caught in his gaze.

After a moment, I cleared my throat and looked away. It felt too hot in here, like a sauna, but my air conditioner was set to a cool 65 degrees. I fanned my face and looked back at my phone.

"I'll introduce you tomorrow. Call a little earlier, so that he's not in  bed and I'll definitely get him on the phone." I promised. "Why are you so interested, anyway?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. You and Sam make him sound pretty awesome. Plus, I still can't believe that you're technically a mom. I can't seem to wrap my head around it."

I laughed. "Yeah, it's still pretty wild to me too, and I've had him for almost 7 years now."

"Wow." He whispered.

There was a look in his eyes, almost like admiration.

"I'm 23 and I can't imagine having a 15-year-old kid to take care of. I can barely take care of myself."

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Whatever. I'm sure you do perfectly fine."