Contemplation

Bitter feelings

I've been sleeping more

I feel so overwhelmed

the emotions
The pain
all of it trying, clawing begging to resurface

I'm fighting back sobs

clenching my teeth so my lip won't quiver

blinking and wiping watery eyes

I'm plastering a smile to my face

I just want to crumble

I'm trying desperately to remind myself I matter

don't end it all
but I don't want to

the rational part of me is fighting bitter emotions
and pain plaguing me

I numbly walk-through the day before I go home

and try to sleep away the heartache

the grief
I miss you dad

I wonder what the course of my life how many times I will say this

Think it

write it down

All too soon

because you made a choice and you left me behind broken

(Worry not this is a poem from a few years back)