Contemplation

Idea Of Love

I wish I didn't feel any sadness but I do.

It gnaws at me and spreads poison across my delicate skin.

I think I miss you but it's really only the idea of love that I want.

I tried to find it in you but all I found was a boy, no man.

Arms that encased and trapped me.

A mouth that spat words which cracked me.

Hands that gripped me and tore at me until I had enough and realized I couldn't  fix what was already so broken.

I couldn't do anything if you didn't want to get better.

I deserved more than hateful words and cuts and bruises that littered my soft skin.

I was gold and you were a furnace.

Too much heat and I would become hot putty in your hands which you could mold into anything of your choosing.