Contemplation

H I D E IT

I could sink into this

Simmer in it

Suffocate in it

Let it overtake my lungs,

My heart

My mind

"Fight."

A small part of me whispers but I can't acknowledge it

I want too but I feel so drained

I lay for hours thinking of what else I could be doing besides this

I'm not tried but I sleep until darkness meets a different kind of blackness

I feel a pounding heaviness

I don't care about anything

Not really

I think maybe one day I will but not today

My lips won't pull up into a smile even with duck tape stuck too the edges

I so desperately want to be better

But I just can't bring myself up off of this bed

The blankets

They weigh me down

They keep me safely tucked away from the miserable world

And under their softness I don't realize that another grey world hides away