Contemplation

Opening Up The Wound

I can feel the emotion piling on top of each other.

I have allowed myself to open up after so long and it's making pain more noticeable.

I've been trying to be one with emotions but I also feel like it's breaking me.

No one is interested in dating me, I'm too obnoxious, to hyper, or shy or ugly even.

Who knows.

I feel alone.

My friends are disappearing.

One is entranced by a boy and the other is being sucked away from me.

I'm hurt.

This is what it's like to have everything ripped away from you again and having to start fresh.

I guess no one is meant to be constant in my life.

I'm broken and I thought I was doing better.

I lied to myself.

I know I did but I wanted to believe I was.

I have the urge to slam my fist into my face and feel pain, something to distract myself from how I feel.

I just want to break down and sob and ask God why everything that is good always leaves.

Someone please tell me why I'm disposable and ugly and people only want me until they see how much there is too
Me.

I'm not simple.

I'm a book
Within a book.

I hold stories in me and some are happy and some are not.

I just want someone to tell me even if I cry why I was easy to throw away.