Contemplation

The Product Of Thinking I don't Deserve You

I feel as though I talk to much

I feel anxious and I don't know what to say sometimes

But I do know that I want to say this

Thank you for all the times that you made me feel safe

Thank you for the laughs and the encouragement

Thank you for not making me feel stupid

Even though right now

I am really questioning myself and everything about this

I  am trying not to overthink it  but how do I do that

When you seem like such a nice person and such a sweet soul

I feel like I don't live up to the expectation that you have for someone you want to one day love

I am sorry I know that this sounds insecure

I am insecure

I want this to work

I want to take my time and fall for you or someone like you

You see even if we don't work you taught me that I am worth more

Yes we are friends

Yes you probably don't know how I feel

You might never know but

I care for you

At least now I will know what it is I want in a man

If we never become anything

I will always treasure you for showing me what real love is

Tonight you fell asleep on the phone and I didn't know whether or not to think that this was out of finding comfort in us talking or boredom from what I spoke

I am trying not to overthink it but if this is a sign from above that we don't work

Thanks for everything

I have never met a guy who didn't hurt me and abuse me

Who didn't have an agenda and I appreciate that so much

I hope that you find someone who loves you deeply

I know you will

There is no doubt in my mind

You should know that your heart spreads miles and although some of the roads are worn

One day a adventurous soul will walk down them and see the beauty in the old tracks

Ultimately falling for every part of you

You my dear friend

Although I may never get to call you my love

Will indeed be loved

I promise you that with all of my heart

I know you will be loved