You know those saying about the girls who laugh the loudest and love the most are usually the ones struggling more than everyone
Well I find it kinda true
I feel so guilty when people look at me with their sympathetic gaze
I gnaw on my nails
And smile
I make a bad joke and brush off their words
I'm fine
I preach
Why wouldn't I be
I try so hard to be that way so that I don't pass on the same energy to someone else
But
Sometimes
I can't keep it in
And suddenly a river will spill from within me
The floodgates will burst open
And no matter how much I try to keep that at bay
Pushing
Shoving
Fighting
Begging
They come through
And ask
Why did I keep these feelings hidden away for so long
And they tell me
It only makes it worse
The feeling of it all together
Smushed into one along with everything else I've buried away
I hate the truth
And I tell myself not to do it again
But that doesn't stop it from happening
YOU ARE READING
Contemplation
PoetryPoems to feed your soul Some old and new Be wary that the content is raw and open
