Contemplation

N O

I wish it was easy to understand why

I've tried distracting myself from what has happened.

The last time I saw you

I remember it like a wicked fever dream

I tried to open my heart

My mouth was barely open before you tried to shush me with your hands

I wanted to cry

I said I didn't think I really wanted it

But you went on and I looked off and tried to hide the tears in my eyes as I laid there

Helpless

Hopeless

So full of self loathing

But I was scared what would happen if I made you stop

So yes

I haven't called or texted

I haven't even sent a wave

Because I'm so exhausted

I'm beat

In too many ways to describe

And I never want to feel like that again

So taken advantage of and making excuses for men who don't know the word no