Self Harm Trigger Warning
I sliced open my skin
I watched the blood trickle over my arm
It was liberating
Maybe
I wasn't sure
The pain had me clenching my jaw so that I wouldn't say anything
I didn't want them to hear me and stop me
The cut was deep
The knife sank into my skin
I let out a quiet thick sob
It hurt so bad
Why was I doing this?
I drew another line above that one
Pressing harder
The blood flowed over my skin and met the other trail of crimson above it
My vision was blurry
The knife shook in my hand
I put it down and held my arm crying
Why did I do this
Why would I hurt myself
Anger began to build
You did this to yourself
What a disappointment
Attention seeker
I undid the knife again
You aren't worthy of anything
Of love
Another cut
Of happiness
Another cut
I finally broke
Holding back the pounding urge to do it again
I rolled myself into a ball on the bathtub ground
The noise and music I played drowning out my loud sobs
No one would know or notice
No one would care
My arm would scar
But what I didn't realize was just how deep my depression was as the urge to punish came once again
Disclaimer-
Self harm is not healthy. If you or a loved one is struggling call the helpline or talk with someone. You are important. You matter and you deserve to be loved.
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