Contemplation

To Not Love

He loves me

I choke on the air in my throat

My expression is stone

My eyes are dry but wet

I blink until I can see clearly

You continue on

It's only you

I will wait

I feel parched

The walls of my throat rubbing against each other

I don't feel the same

My fingers shake and I sit on them

I swallow and tell you the truth

You smile and say its fine

Your lips pull down at the corners

Your white skin turns to the color of bone

You nod understanding

Hands dig in your pocket

Your eyes look through me

I see you searching for the lie

There is none

I look away not sure how to handle

All of what they hold

The darkness of them holds despair

And love

Love i don't share