Contemplation

How

How can it be that I could feel his lips on mine when he was gone.
The once warm touch of his now left me cold and numb.
At least some days.

Other days his touch lit a fire beneath me, and rage spilled from me at the realization of what time I had wasted on him.

The way that as soon as I pointed out how he was treating me he became cooler than ice. His face knew no emotion, his mouth forgot to speak and he would turn and walk away.

When I had finally realized I wasn't being treated right and had addressed it he took his shoes and walked out of the door without uttering a word.
I stood at the window watching silently thinking maybe he would come back even though I already knew he wouldn't.
My body shook from the hurt.
I closed my eyes and covered my mouth in an attempt to muffle the sob that left me.
Another followed and another until I couldn't contain the sound.
That day I wrapped my arms around myself, hugging my body. I realized that it was only I who could love myself the way I deserved. Not him or any other man, me.