Contemplation

I Tried

I tried so hard with her

She was my best friend

but the low blows that she made and how she tried so hard to pin everything on me just means I need to move on

Its not an easy task

I was a fool who held hope

and she was a foul creature who gave it to me

she lied to my face and came back to tell me how horrid of a person I was

How she could never forgive me

She told my friends that I was basically the devil

When the truth was that I showed her that she was with the devil himself and when she didnt want to hear she turned everything I said about him around and said that it was me

I was the one who manipulated her

Even though I listened to her cry and complain over him

I bought her a drink when she was sad

I drove her when she was crying

I taught her how to drive

fed her when she was hungry

let her have clothes when she had none

I even used my very own limited money to feed her when she had no food at home

I put my all into the friendship

five years

wasted

she said she couldnt forgive me?

well she should wake up and realize that she isnt so perfect either

does she think its easy to forgive her

to trust someone who literally lied to your face and went behind your back

who painted you a demon

I tried and tried and tried

but soon enough i learned that she doesnt deserve my waste of breath or tears

but I shed them anyways I say the words anyway

because I dont halfass friendships I put all or nothing in and it aches so deep within

that the one person I prayed would never be taken away was right before my very eyes

that someone i knew for a less amount of time treats me with the respect and love that friendship should have

i am so tired of hurting

of trying so goddamn hard

forget trying to make people happpy

when will it be my turn

it is my turn

I will be kind and heal

grow

become a better me with me

myself as the truest friend

I will not let another person try and destroy me

almost successdully might i add

i am worthy

i did nothing wrong

i apoligized to make her feel better when in truth warning my friend of a bad man is not a crime

I am not going to become so cold for her but

i will learn to keep my guard up for an appropriate amount of time so that i know

when to truly let it down

because it is my time to be wanted

i am a excellent friend

i care so much

i love and fight for people who in all honesty wouldnt waste a penny let alone an inkling of honesty on me