Your UnSlut Project

Submitted by @SophiaAbouchard

I think we need to take a hard look at where "slut" shaming lives. It's often found in the most well meaning places. We all need to look at the way women's bodies are objectified. Why sexual judgment is wielded about. It's become very easy to reach out and tag, like, tweet and post, like everything is up for a vote. It shouldn't be. The "slut" comments need to fall away as woman drivers, dumb blond, and "faggot" comments are slowly dying. Just because we can speak about other people's personal and intimate details doesn't mean we should.

Listening to a mother guide her daughter as to the best clothing to wear to a particular event, addressing the issue of provocative clothing. All in a very real attempt to explain socially appropriate norms and to keep her daughter from becoming a rape statistic. These conversations, well meant and necessary, often imply that it's a woman's responsibility or worse, her fault. These are our daughters and sons that don't feel comfortable enough to ask meaningful questions, seek help or even report. Their ability to grow into self realized sexual adults with a support system that they deserve is crippled. So all good intentions backfire because the dialogue is too brief; too judgmental.

"Slut" shaming lives in the seemingly benign comments: she was/is asking for it. Did you see what she was wearing? Is this too slutty for the party? Oh my god look at her butt! She stuffs her bra. You're not leaving the house looking like that, you'll be asking for trouble.

It also appears in legislative actions all over the country. Dress codes are stating girls wearing shorts is too sexually distracting. Well what message is a young woman supposed to get? Young boys need the right message reinforced by adult role models. Young girls need "slut" shaming behavior called out with a full explanation of the dangers of harming someone's reputation and how that results in their self worth being damaged.

A feminist issue: yes, but not in totality. Boys are shamed for their sexual stamina, lack of experience, body type. Abs are everything. Size does/doesn't matter. The biggest reasons for the big break up: "He's totally gay."Recently I was with some teens who were calling a girl a "slut" for dating a girl one week and the next crushing on a boy. "She's such a slut - she needs to pick a team and stick with it." I had a chat with them about their very advanced and creative "slut" shaming. Her sexuality, although it would be more convenient for them, probably doesn't need to be completely worked out at the age of 16. Voicing their opinion about someone's private sexual choice would harm her and eventually themselves.

Sexual judgment gives birth to "slut" shaming. It lives in our constant criticism of others. Our villages are now the size of continents. It's going to take a focused effort to call it when it's seen. Stand in defense of ourselves and our friends, family, sons and daughters, and the people standing beside us or on the other side of a post.

Integrity: Oprah said about Maya Angelou, "I don't know anyone who understands the power of words more than Maya Angelou. I've been in her home at a party, and someone telling [an inappropriate] joke or making fun of someone in a derogatory way and watched her invite them to leave, or stop them in mid-sentence and say, 'Not in my house you won't.'" Words are so very powerful; shaming is powerfully destructive. By a thoughtful investigation of our culture, community, word choice, kindness and open communication the "slut" shaming vanishes. So let's.