Your UnSlut Project

Submitted by @VeryOkayPerson

It all started because of a pair of shorts.

Throughout most of my life, I've been fat-shamed. Mainly by my parents, but I got a few comments here and there. After getting constantly told that I should stop eating so much, start exercising more, and just told that my body wasn't good enough for other people and wouldn't be accepted in society due to my figure, I never thought the day would come where I wasn't socially accepted because of the way I dressed.

I was born and raised in a Catholic family, and due to that I was sent to a Catholic school. My parents weren't very strict about things like grades or what I wore, the only problem they had was that my body wasn't "normal." Getting shamed for being bigger and compared to the other girls at my school wasn't really unusual. I honestly just accepted that fact that I was never gonna look like other girls, and I was fine with it.

Until one day there was a "dress down day" at school. For those of you who don't know, when you attend a Catholic school you have to wear a uniform every day. For girls, your collared shirt had to be tucked into your skirt, your skirt had to go to your knees, you had to wear socks above your ankles (which could only be white, black, or navy blue), you couldn't wear any bright or colorful shoes or high tops, and you couldn't wear nail polish. Those rules only apply to girls, too. So when we got to dress "down" (in casual attire), it was a pretty big deal.

It's not like your casual outfit didn't have plenty of restrictions, either. If you wore a tank top the straps had to be thicker than two fingers (BECAUSE OH NO A GIRL'S SHOULDER IS TOO PROVOCATIVE), you couldn't wear shorts that were shorter than your middle finger when you stood up with your arms to the side of your body, if you wore leggings your butt had to be covered, your back or chest couldn't be exposed in any way, and you couldn't wear open-toed shoes. Even with all the restrictions I still managed to put together a decent-looking outfit for school that day.

It was around summertime so I wore a pair of shorts, a tee shirt, and sneakers. Seems pretty average, right? Well I guess not, according to almost every girl that was in my grade. The shorts I wore met the fingertip rule my school had on shorts, but it didn't follow the rules everyone else had. I have a long torso, but I'm a short person. So when I wear sweaters the bottom fits perfectly fine but the sleeves are usually too long. Apparently this affects the way people view the way I wear shorts, too. My short arms and my long torso + my somewhat stocky build made shorts look a lot shorter. And my pair of shorts caused an uproar throughout my seventh grade class.

During every second of the day, people wouldn't stop asking me to put my arms to the side to see if my shorts were long enough. I started to overhear comments of people saying, "She's asking for it" or "Her shorts are too short." It was almost as if I could feel my classmates slut-shaming me when I walked through the halls.

Conveniently, when the day ended, my mom had to go to the library. Even there I was given dirty looks, and I noticed people were looking over tables or desks just to see how short my shorts were. As a young teenager I felt so vulnerable at the time. It was almost as if I could hear the words "slut" ringing throughout my head. The thoughts of other people soon became my own, and I started seeing myself as a "loose girl."

During that time of my life, I had never had any sort of interaction with a guy. I had never even dated anyone before, but suddenly I was seen as a girl who slept with every guy she knew. After that day filled with the dirty looks and mean comments, I didn't go out in that certain pair of shorts I was wearing for a while.

The title of "school slut" was often held by a girl only for a week or two, but in that small amount of time a lot can get to a person. I only wore clothes that didn't bring attention to any parts of my body as best I could. I usually didn't partake in "out of uniform" days anymore. People didn't really remember the incident, but it surely stuck with me throughout my whole life. I always checked everything I wore to make sure it was modest, even if it wasn't for school.

I'm still extremely self-conscious about the way I look and what I wear. Despite that, I no longer see myself as a "slut." Not until recently did I start looking back at that time where I felt so ashamed and vulnerable. One of my best friends wrote a paper about school dress codes and we had a conversation about how the things you wear shouldn't define who you are. As long as you are comfortable and happy with what you're wearing, go for it.

As for the people who are judging you for it, ignore them. It's a lot harder than it sounds but it feels great when you do. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't wear something because it bothers them, because it really doesn't affect their lives. Do whatever makes you feel happy (as long as you aren't hurting other people), because you're beautiful.