Your UnSlut Project

Submitted by @XhulioNdrecaj

I was in the 5th grade. It was October 2010. After class was over I stayed with four friends to talk. One of my friends (Elvisa) asked about our crushes. The other girls started talking about their crushes but I didn't had a crush. Elvisa asked me and I told her that I liked a boy, Robert (I lied only to be cool like them). The next day, Matilda (my best friend at that time) told everyone about what I said. At that time, all the boys and girls used to go to church for singing lessons and to learn about God. So she told them there.

On Monday, I entered class and everyone started laughing and screaming at me. I was actually confused because I didn't knew anything. A few minutes later Elvisa told me what was going on and I was shocked. That boy Robert came and told me that he was disappointed and called me "slut." I had a pizza in my hand and I threw it on the ground and ran behind the school crying. Elvisa tried to help me but I was freaking out.

Everyday the same thing. After a month all my friends were gone. Everyone hated me. I was alone. And that was the first time I tried to kill myself. I got a scarf and put it around my neck. I was really killing myself, but after I saw myself in the mirror I recognized that I was doing a shitty thing. And I was safe. Okay, so let's skip that year full of pain.

The next year, 6th grade, started the same. Unfortunately the teacher put me at the same desk with Robert. We had a lot of fights, but I don't really know how we started to break the ice between us. But that didn't happen, because his friends stared pushing me and calling me "slut" again. Later the teacher put me at a desk with another boy, and he made my life like hell. And that is when I tried to kill myself again. I got the knife in my hands and wanted to hurt myself. I started cutting my hand but it hurt so much, not only my hand, but my heart, too. But I didn't kill myself. My family didn't knew anything about this.

Okay so next, 7th grade. Before entering the school I stopped at the gate and made a promise to myself that no one, ever again, would do that to me. I found out that Matilda was the one who said all that stuff about me. For months she saw me suffering and she just made fun of me. But I had a fight with her and everyone found out. And this is how it happened. They saw how much I had changed and they were afraid. And then a girl named Kristina entered in my life. She helped me so much. She is my sister now. And this is who I am now. Myself. I made a promise and I will always keep it.