antihero. f. tatis jr

✿ at dinner parties i call you out.

GOLD RUSH

"at dinner parties i call you out for your contrarian sh!t."

JANUARY

Fernando wasn't expecting to willingly be in the waiting room of this glass office. He was thoroughly pissed off, all while everyone else seemed so unbothered. It was like everyone else knew it was gonna happen... except for him.

"Fernando?" Serena called, propping her door open. "You know you can just walk in when you get here?"

"Right, sorry." He apologized, walking into her office, seeing the familiar sight of the kept off-season grass and baseball diamond outside the window. He comfortably sunk down into the couch, laying down and flipping onto his side.

"You've sure made yourself comfortable around here." Serena raised her eyebrows.

"Well, AJ didn't cheap out on the furniture. It's nice." Fernando retorted

"Oh, you know him and Peter. They aren't cheap."

"Evidently," Fernando almost choked.

"Look, I get you're mad at them... but that's not a reason to come in here all a$$ed up. I told you at the beginning of this that you're gonna have to talk and listen if this is all gonna work out. No where in there did I say come in here and complain about our bosses 24/7." The blonde stated strictly. She wasn't his friend, she was his sports psychologist. If he wants to mindlessly complain he needs to go complain to Juan or Campy.

"Alright, my bad." Fernando sighed. He'd been in the DR with his family for the holidays, and the thought of Bogaerts being a Padre has plagued his mind. Every time he touched a baseball bat he felt a whisper in his ear. He heard this whisper constantly criticize Xander and the way he plays. But mainly, he heard this voice criticize him. He heard it ask him so many questions he couldn't answer and pitch so many insults he couldn't mentally take to hear.

"I'm being screwed and I can feel it." he finally declared, letting go of his uptightness.

"Are you sure they're screwing you? Are you sure they aren't just trying to make you work harder?" The girl counterclaimed. Since Fernando called her over the holidays their conversations have flowed a lot easier.

"Yes, they surely signed Xander Bogaerts to an 11 year 280 million dollar contract to make me work harder. What an astute observation, Dr. Lense."

"No need to get snippy with me, Fernando." she side-eyed him.

Fernando once again came back down from the little high he was on.

"Can I ask you a few questions?" Serena asked.

"Go ahead."

"While you were out all this time, when CJ and Kimmy stepped up to play shortstop... did you feel like this?"

Fernando had an answer to this. He opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly closed it and stopped himself to think about it a little more. "No. I like them. I liked CJ. The future was CJ and I in the middle. He's in Washington now but I liked him. And Kim? He has heart. He got screwed in 21' by Jayce. Last year was almost like his first year. He's adjusted well."

Serena nodded, she couldn't hide the little smile that she was desperately trying to not let overtake her face because of the way Fernando talked about his teammates, especially Kim and CJ. The ones who struggled with living up to what Fernando started here. The ones who wanted nothing but the approval from Tatis.

"So what's the difference now? Why doesn't Xander get the pass?"

"The difference is that I liked seeing Kim succeed because it's what he deserves. But seeing Xan here? I feel like they don't want me to succeed. They're trying to cover up their image instead of giving me a chance."

Fernando was starting to feel that firey feeling ignite in his chest again.

Serena contemplated what to say. She definitely had something, but she wasn't sure it was what he wanted to hear. It was her job to help Fernando and tell him the truth, but seeing how worked up he was she wasn't sure if it was the right time.

She began to gather her words, but before she could say them Fernando said something first.

"I can't help but feel they've dangled this carrot over my head and suddenly snatched it away with signing Xander." he said bitterly.

Fernando watched Serena go quiet again. His delusions promised she wanted to agree with him, but the truth of the real world wasn't going to let that happen.

"Fernando, this is baseball." The blonde almost choked, "As much as you want to claim they're f#cking you over... it happens. You need to pick yourself up and work harder. People come and go all the time. Xander's here. Nelly's here. And Wil's gone. Sean's gone, too."

"But I'm not gone." Fernando argued, raising his voice. His brown eyes looked big and intenese.

"No, you aren't. Manny was still here when you got called up. You remember that?"

Serena was referring to the fact Manny Machado was a shortstop. Manny signed for the Padres in 2019, probably thinking he was going to play shortstop.

But Tatis happened. Tatis got called up and Manny got shifted to third, and from then on he never went back. He had to adjust and stay there.

"You're no better than Xander, Fernando. But sitting here and complaining about it gets you nowhere. You have to move on and do something about it. We weren't in season when I sat here, looking out this very window a couple years ago and watched Manny at this place everyday at 6 AM — by himself — and occasionally with Hosmer, fielding ground balls and plays from third base. There's no reason I'm not seeing you out there everyday in center or right field catching fly balls or throwing home."

Fernando sat up from where he was laying down on the couch, taking a glance out the window and into right field. "Your job isn't to berate me, right? Because I'm pretty sure that's what you just did." He glared at her. He was evidently trying to turn this onto her

Fernando walked in here as a whole bundle of sadness and anger. Right now though, he wasn't feeling the sadness anymore. He was just straight up pissed. Pissed at Xander. Pissed at the front office. Pissed at his parents. And now, he was pissed at Serena too.

Without another word, the beady glare still occupying his face, Fernando stood up and went towards the door.

He realized as he was leaving Serena just watched him. She didn't stop him or tell him to come back. She was just letting him leave.

And with that, he left.

republished 6/21/23