Sterek one-shots

I'll Be Good

Hey guys! I know, I know, it's been literally FOREVER and a day. I apologize. I've been super busy lately. I don't have any idea why and it's gotten to the point where when I have a day to do nothing that's literally all I do, nothing, because I don't have the energy to do anything else. I figured I should post something, update you all, I'm still alive(barely). Anyways, I was saving this one shot to make another Sterek Playlist but it's literally the only thing I have done right now so I'm just gonna post it. It is sad so just keep that in mind. I'm sorry again for taking a billion years to update.

I'll Be Good-Jaymes Young

I walked into the bathroom after slamming my hand down onto my alarm clock, I was already awake before it had gone off, and I hadn't slept at all last night. It was quiet in the house, my dad was already at work, he was taking earlier shifts so he could leave before I had to get up for school, the hours running longer so I was ready to climb into bed when he got home.

I don't blame him.

I hate me too.

The only sound I heard besides my breathing was a small repetitive 'tap, tap, tap' and looking down at the sink I saw the water dripping into the drain. I turned the nob, the water stopping. I sighed (for the hundredth time this morning) and looked back into the mirror but this time, it wasn't me, it was the devil, the reflection of me that tore my life to shreds. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands and mentally told myself that it wasn't real, none of it was real, the nogitsune was gone. I looked back, my reflection my usual tired self as it had been since I was finally just me again. I grabbed the bottle of rum that I had hidden under my sink and took a swig, returning it to its home. I never meant for any of this to happen, I never meant to hurt anyone. I'll be better, I'll be good.

The ringing of my phone shook me from my thoughts, my dad's contact lighting up the screen. I picked it up muttering a 'hello' begrudgingly.

'Just making sure you're up.'

'Yeah, I'm up.'

John's sigh was heavy even through the phone, 'Okay, I'll be home late tonight, I love you, be good.'

'I love you, too.'

Liar.

I couldn't stop thinking about everything today, maybe that's because I haven't slept in days or because Scott gave me this look in class. Full of hatred. Cold, bitter, hatred. And I knew why. I killed Allison. I did a lot that I regret. I don't think I've ever wanted to turn back time more than I do now. But, I deserve the hell I'm in, after all I put myself here. I let the nogitsune in. I let him control me. I did this.

I felt panic race through my body during a passing period, I saw Isaac, Scott, and Lydia. All three of them looked at me and walked the other way. I clenched my hand, hitting my leg with my fist to try and stop the shaking that was going on. My vision starting to blur, my breathing uneven, I felt trapped.

"Stiles! Stiles! Come on, Stiles! Look at me!"

The pain in my cheek caught enough of my attention to see Scott was in front of me, I was in the locker room, on the floor.

"Stiles, breathe, it's okay."

I shook my head, I've been cold, I've been merciless, but the blood on my hands still scares me to death.

"I'll be good, I'll be good, I'm sorry, I'll be good."

Scott pulled me up onto my feet, "You didn't do anything wrong."

I shook my head again, sobs raking through my body. "I-I'm sorry, I-I wish I could take it back."

"Stiles, you need to breathe," He turned to look behind him. "Isaac, call Derek."

What was probably minutes passed but it felt like days to me, flashes of the nogitsune, flashes of what I did, killing Ally, stabbing Scott, the death, the blood, the pain. The fucking riddles, each one making an appearance all of them shouting at me again.

I didn't realize I was screaming until I was wrapped in someone's arms and there was a voice in my ear, "Stiles, it's okay, I'm here, breathe, you're okay."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll be good, I'm sorry." I muttered leaning into Derek's warmth.

"What're you apologizing for?" He asked, I felt him press a kiss below my ear.

"Everything." I said, I was so drained at this point, I looked up at Scott, "For all of the bruises that I've caused and the tears. For all the things I've done all these years. For all the perfect things that I doubt. For letting the nogitsune in and destroying everyone and everything."

"Stiles..." I knew Derek was talking but I didn't hear anything past my name.

I locked my gaze on the floor, "I'll be good, I'll be good." I muttered, "I'll be good for all the times I never could."

I faintly heard Derek again, "Baby, look at me...Stiles..."

I zoned out again, "I want to die."

The grip around me tightening as soon as the words left my mouth. Scott and Isaac dropped in front of me. Derek was still muttering things in my ear, I faintly heard an 'I love you' and 'we'll get through this' as I saw Scott's mouth running, no sound registering to me from him. Isaac looked as if I just kicked him.

"I'll be good." I whispered.

For all the times I never could.