Love Me Thoda Aur 💕💞

6.

Abhishree's POV

It had been two months since we have been married.

If making love to your husband every alternate night means that life was fine then everything was fine in my life.

Raunak ji has never failed to express his love and feelings for me. He is very romantic but I feel like he is wasting his love on someone who isn't capable of loving.

Almost every weekend he takes me out somewhere or does something special for me.

Once we went to watch a movie, the other time it was simply dinner outside. Another time we went to my parent's house.

I was so happy to see them. I hugged mumma and cried. She asked me if I was not happy.

I shook my head and smiled.

I was happy. Raunak ji gave me everything I wanted. I should be happy, right?

But I miss the life I had before. I cannot be a woman. Sometimes I stand under the shower and think about my previous life.

Even now, I behave like that sometimes. My sitting posture or my way of talking becomes like it used to be but I try and correct myself quickly.

Also, me and Raunak ji recently had an argument. Our first fight.

He was going to office and I was giving him his stuff as he got ready.

"Abhishree?"

I looked at him in a questioning manner.

"Kuch kehna chahti ho?"

(You want to say something?)

I frowned and shook my head.

"Mujhe har waqt aisa kyu lagta hai ki tum kuch kehna chahti ho lekin kehti nhi ho?"

(Why do I feel that you want to say something but you never say?)

I looked down. What could I answer now? I couldn't tell him what was bothering me. I couldn't tell him that this was not the life I wanted. I couldn't tell him that I could never fall in love with him and that I wasn't made for love. 

He cupped my face and I looked into his eyes.

"You know you tell me everything right?"

I smiled slightly and said.

"Aisa kuch nhi hai. Sach mai."

(There is nothing like that. Really.)

He looked at me seriously and said.

"I can see it in your eyes. There is something. Tum mujhe iss layak hi nhi samajhti ki share kr sko toh baat alag hai."

(If you don't think me capable of sharing then it is different.)

He said and started leaving. I held his hand and looked at him.

"Sach mai kuch nhi hai Raunak ji. Hota toh mai aapse nhi chhupati."

(Really it is nothing Raunak ji. I won't have hidden from you.)

"Jooth!"

(Lies!)

He said in a high tone. 

"Nhi batana toh mat batao. Lekin jooth mat bolo."

(Don't tell me if you don't want to. But don't lie.)

He said and left from there.

This was what had happened and now I don't understand what to do.